And possibly throwing it out the window. I don’t care if it lands on Mrs Smith next door’s favourite garden gnome and shatters it to smithereens.
Don’t get me wrong, I used to worship Wan as much as the next girl, loving his fabulous GBF (Gay Best Friend) persona, but then I discovered it was all smoke and mirrors. Having interviewed Wan last year it struck me that he was about as genuine as a designer handbag from Bangkok. He also air kissed me with such ferocity it sounded like two gun shots on my tape recorder.
For those still buying into his irrelevant brand of television (no that isn’t a typo, I did mean irrelevant) this week sees Wan predictably transform his “gorgeous girls” into “absolute stunners” and embrace their “beautiful bodies” – “bangers” (grrrr) and all. Tugging on the heart strings is mother and daughter, Margaret and Maria, from Derbyshire. Aged 62 and 39, respectively, both have such terrible body confidence they fear passing their own issues on to Maria’s two young daughters. Step forward Wan to raid the rails of the high street and accessorise the duo to within an inch of their lives, before then persuading them to take it all off again for a nude photo shoot. Shona Collins, the winner of Gok’s series Miss Naked Beauty, joins the series as a roving reporter, while Wan scours the country for groups of people who are proud of their bodies and willing to get naked and celebrate what nature gave them. This time round it is a Welsh mountain rescue team, getting their kit off against the backdrop of a stunning hillside. Expect the following excruciating stock phrases – “gorgeous girl”, “lady”, “honey”, “angel” and “vamp” – on a loop. I’m taking Mrs Smith’s gnome hostage until Channel 4 come to their senses.
HOW TO LOOK GOOD NAKED, Channel 4, 8pm
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