"It's Bath's busy day as everything happens at once." The paper was reporting on a conjunction of events that had residents of the town's elegant Georgian crescents up in arms and asking if the local administration should be keeping a clash diary.
The Chronicle carefully recorded the traffic and parking problems that resulted from an estimated 12,000 rugby fans turning up to watch Bath play Leicester Tigers at the same time as 600 folk paraded in Regency costume for the Jane Austen Festival, the University of Bath held its Open Day, there was a countryside festival at Bath racecourse, and the American Museum staged a US Civil War re-enactment.
The residents association spokesman who was sounding off at this lack of co-ordination would presumably get short-shrift from his peers in the Georgian terraces of Edinburgh where such a limited list of events barely hints at the agenda in their arrondissement in August. He would instead be boxed about the ears with the 80-page Festival programme and the 350 pages of the Fringe brochure until he realised he was well off.
More generously perhaps, he might be led by the hand to see the new screen version of Stephen Greenhorn's Proclaimers jukebox musical Sunshine On Leith, which premiered in Edinburgh on Tuesday. The beautifully shot movie, which at no point betrays its stage origins although the storyline is intact and the songs are deployed in much the same way, is a superior - and certainly more credible - advertisement for Bonnie Scotland than that animated fantasy Brave in which the nation invested. It gives away nothing about the film to say that the final scene, unsurprisingly soundtracked by I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles), derives its credible staging of a Glee-like community song and dance routine from taking place in a location that is a prime pitch for street entertainment during Edinburgh's summer madness.
For those of us who live or work at the other end of the M8, there is the added frisson of spotting the locations that are not the capital at all, but Glasgow pretending, including matriarch Jean's (Jane Horrocks) workplace at Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum, the unmistakable interiors of The Saracen Head (Let's Get Married) and The Griffin Bar (Over And Done With), and a taxi hailed in Candleriggs for what would in reality be a very expensive fare to Morningside.
This won't matter at all to viewers furth of Caledonia of course, who will look at the images of this land we call home and decide it may well be worth a visit, as long as you are not actually looking for a boyfriend among its population of dysfunctional men.
Note to dysfunctional men everywhere: Sunshine On Leith is the best date movie to come out of Scotland since Gregory's Girl.