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Colonel Mustard And The Dijon 5 Party To Make Music To… (colonelmustardandthedijon5.bandcamp.com)

NEED a clue as to who caused the chin-stroking muso to drop dead of apoplexy? Colonel Mustard did it in the ballroom with the funky beats and infantile humour. The full title of the Glasgow collective's debut album is Party To Make Music To Party To Make Music To Party To 1 and opening song How Many Many's manages to rhyme "hanky panky/Jimmy Krankie" and "bukake/Gaddafi", so we're not exactly talking Radiohead, are we? Instead, think of an alcoholic party-punch mixture of Electric Six, Alabama 3, Happy Mondays and, for those with long and local memories, Hugh Reed And The Velvet Underpants, as the Colonel rallies his troops for a raid through reggae (Bouncy Ball), mariachi (Capturado) and sundry spoofed genres. Bass and brass make an effective dancefloor combo, but the tunes never quite get beyond novelty status and certainly wouldn't stand up on their own without the comedy value of the lyrics. I've a feeling the joke might wear thin before the groove in the vinyl does.


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