HOW to describe the majesty of The Crown (Netflix) now that the second series is here? Should one compare it to a jewel beyond compare, a Bagehotian sliver of sunlight upon magic, or an episode of EastEnders?
Given the way things are “kicking off”, as they say down Walford way, perhaps the third option. As we pick up the tale in 1957 there is trouble and strife between landlords Philip and Elizabeth, Eden is starting a right old dust-up in the corner, Mags still can’t find the right fella, and that poor nipper Charlie has been sent all the way to Jock Land, just to go to school. Would you Adam and Eve it?
The way creator Peter Morgan presents it, yes, we probably would. Lavishly presented and deftly written, save for the odd bum note and over-eager steer, the new series finds Morgan in confident form. With events looping from Suez to Profumo, there is no shortage of political drama, and as Margaret enters the dating scene with a vengeance there’s much sauciness in the mix too, not to mention humour. In one scene the Queen and Queen Mother are watching TV when the picture starts to jump. “Stop it!” cries the reigning monarch as Mum administers a hefty whack to the box. “It’s rented!” One is never entirely sure whether Morgan loathes the royals or is madly in love with them. Must be that Bagehotian sunlight in his eyes.
The series Blitz: the Bombs that Changed Britain (BBC Two, Thursday, 9pm) turned its attention to Clydebank. No matter how many times one hears about the saturation bombing that took place in March, 1941, the loss and devastation that occurred never fails to shock. Ben Crichton’s intensely moving film focused on Jellicoe Street, with a relative of some of those who died, and a survivor of that night, sharing their stories and thoughts to camera. Some documentaries deserve to be preserved for the age, and those that come after. This was one of them.
The Real Marigold on Tour (BBC One, Monday, 10.45pm) featured yet more celebrity pensioners on their travels. It was only a few weeks ago that one of the Real Marigold crowd, darts player Bobby George, had been in the US trying out cannabis. Oh well, nice work and all that. This time in the quest to find out where in the world is best to get old, the gang were in Chengdu, China.
Between the lack of English (in China? How did that happen?) and the heat, it was tough going. Time for a trip to a waterpark, but Miriam Margoyles wasn’t much impressed with that either. “F****** hell” she said, spying the artificial waves, following this with, “It’s not a pool, it’s a disaster!” She only cheered up when she got to stroke a panda. I often find that helps, too.
With conclusions plucked straight from the file marked B for bleeding obvious – it’s good to have places to exercise and socialise, a public transport system that’s accessible, etc – this was more travelogue than documentary, less Travels with My Aunt than Wandering About a Bit with Your Nan. Next week: Cuba, then Iceland.
A challenge was thrown down at the start of Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas (Channel 4, Tuesday, 8pm). “I’m going to prove to the most hard-hearted, glitter-free humbug that with a sprinkle of magic, and a little time, you can create a Christmas to remember.”
A sprinkle of magic and a little time, eh? Oh, and a kiln to fire bone china tree decorations, a metal saw and blow torch to make a brass fairy, and half the contents of a print studio to assemble a picture. Oh, and experts on hand to show you how. Oh, and a gaggle of kids to make the hand-printed wrapping paper. Other than that, easy peasy.
Having cooked and hammered and sanded and mixed, Kirstie was well chuffed with her finished tree and assorted goodies. Recalling her original challenge, two words came to my mind. They were not bah and humbug.
Farewell, then, Kez Dugdale, whose exit from I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! (Sunday, STV, 9pm) was as swift as her entry was controversial. Too sensible, not pushy enough, a bit of a moaning minnie, she was never going to thrive in that environment, one of many reasons – chief among them the fact she was meant to be working in the Scottish Parliament – that she should not have gone. Maybe it will help her find a new career should she decide to leave politics, but I cannot think in what field. Being able to crawl through fish guts, like being an MSP, is a somewhat niche occupation. So haste ye back from that six-star Versace Hotel when you can, Kez. There’s a large party waiting for you. I’m just not sure it’s an entirely welcoming one. Never mind a doctor, a spin doctor or a celebrity, is there a strokeable panda in the house?