Two Doors Down stars Arabella Weir and Alex Norton on festive mishaps and mayhem

They are joined by a stellar cast that includes recent magazine cover star Elaine C Smith, Doon Mackichan and Jonathan Watson.

Here, Weir and Norton share their own best – and worst – Christmas moments.

Do you have any festive traditions?

Alex Norton: Carols, Christmas hats and crackers. That is something we have done since my sons Jock, Rory and Jamie were children.

My wife Sally and I order the turkey from our local butcher in London, which is another of our traditions. When you go to collect it and everyone queues up, the staff come round and give you little glasses of mulled wine while you wait. It is all very jolly and people often burst into song.

Arabella Weir: My big thing is that I'm allowed to start drinking in the morning on Christmas Day. I will have a Buck's Fizz and that is fair dos.

Best childhood Christmas present?

Norton: A Lone Ranger outfit with a six-gun, mask, the whole shebang. I used to run around Pollokshaws in Glasgow being the good guy. I put it on straight away and wore it so much – I even slept in it – that my mother eventually had to tell me to take it off so she could wash it.

Weir: A bronze bicycle from my Melrose granny. That was very exciting. I would have been nine or 10. I could ride a bicycle, but didn't have my own.

My granny in true Scottish tradition wasn't in the habit of buying new things (and neither were my parents). Especially for the third kid. I was always getting someone else's old bicycles.

But this one was brand new. I was not accustomed to getting new things, so I was very pleased with that.

Biggest disappointment at Christmas?

Norton: I was invited to a party at one of our neighbours when I was seven or eight. Looking back I think it must have been a last-minute invitation. They started giving out all the presents and I got really excited, but then I opened mine and it was a pair of socks.

Everyone else had nice toys and I was given these bloody socks. I went away and had a wee greet to myself in the corner. That is the only time my heart has ever sank at Christmas.

Weir: My mother, who was a complicated person, was very annoyed with me one year, although I didn't know this at the time.

She gave my sister a cashmere sweater, my brothers a computer each and me a dog-eared book of poetry from the upstairs lav that wasn't even wrapped up properly.

I opened it and said: "This is the book from the upstairs lav." And she replied: "Doesn't mean they aren't good poems." This was the Christmas when I was 31.

What my mother wanted – and what she got because I was much less together than I am now – was that I started screaming and shouting. It was the fight she was looking for. To her dying day she always pitched us against each other.

Who does the Christmas cooking?

Norton: I rather fancy myself as a bit of a chef when Sally and I host the family. But she's the chef on Christmas Day and I'm her kitchen bitch. I do what she tells me.

Weir: Me. Always. There is no getting away from it. I love Christmas, but there is pressure. Everything has got to be more perfect than on an ordinary day.

I haven't got one of those expensive ovens everyone buys. That is the only day I wish I had one, when you end up trying to cook roast potatoes, roast parsnips and roast whatever-the-beast-is at the same time.

Any festive faux pas?

Norton: I grilled the turkey last year. I thought I would take over the cooking from Sally, but I put the oven to the wrong bloody setting. I had turned the grill on instead. The top of the turkey was completely cremated. Thankfully, we managed to rescue most of it.

So, that's me had my chance with the cooking. I'll let the expert do it this year. My heart hit the floor when I opened the oven door and saw it. How could I be so bloody stupid?

Weir: Usually it is just the farting. You eat too much and then the farting starts. I'm not the one who starts it, but once someone else begins farting I absolutely join in.

When we were kids we used to try to light my younger brother's farts. It is fantastic gas if you get it right. We once singed his bottom. I would not advise children to try this at home.

Who would you like to have at the dinner table?

Norton: My parents and brother who are all gone now, just to have them there for one last Christmas, to say all the things I didn't say when they were around.

Weir: I would love one Christmas where it was all my mates, no obligations and the food is cooked by someone else.

What is your favourite Christmas food?

Norton: I love the lot. Turkey and Brussels sprouts – all the traditional food. Although I'm about the only one who likes a bit of Christmas pudding. The kids aren't all that bothered. I love Christmas pudding with a wee bit of brandy butter and a nice port for afters.

Weir: It is my own invention. A miniature, very high-quality mince pie – served hot and with the lid taken off – that has a wee bit of very-advanced-in-its-life stilton, practically weeping, on top.

Oh my word, that is Christmas. It is unbelievably delicious. You have that and think of me this Christmas.

Finally, what about festive-themed telly traditions?

Norton: Watching Alastair Sim as Scrooge. I remember watching it when I was a kid. We have the DVD and watch it every Christmas. I still can't get through it without greetin'. My wife and I will sit there with hankies watching it. When Tiny Tim says: "God bless us every one" – that's us away.

Alastair Sim is just brilliant. There will never be anyone who can play it better than he did. He was fantastic. It is a great film.

Weir: I'm always trying to get my kids – Isabella and Archie – to watch either Meet Me in St Louis or It's a Wonderful Life. They always say: "No, you'll cry Mum."

I won't watch any reality shows. I love an old film, but would watch Finding Nemo or a Christmas special of Breaking Bad if they had it, as long as it was something we could all sit down and enjoy together.

Two Doors Down, BBC Two, Boxing Day, 10.30pm