CUDDLY toy! Scores on the doors! Good game, good game!

If nostalgia was rocket fuel the latest reinvention of The Generation Game would be half way to Pluto by now.

Alas, you would still have been able to pick up the stink from an idea so far past its sell by date Mary Beard should have been the host.

Instead, we had Mel and Sue taking the hallowed places of Bruce and Anthea, Larry and Isla, with the former Great British Bake-Off hosts looking like a pair of increasingly desperate supply teachers well outside their comfort postcodes.

Mel and Sue were trying, in every sense.

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They hugged contestants. They willed on the dads and sons, mothers and daughters labouring their way through Bollywood dancing, plate spinning, and am-dram.

They dropped no end of Bake-Off innuendos.

“Lubricate!” they shouted as a contestant made a tea pot handle that looked like a penis.

By the time the sausage-making came along even Sue, Sid James in designer specs, was flagging.

A further sign the ship was sinking fast, apart from the canned laughter, was a sofa from which celebrity guests Lorraine Kelly and Richard Osman provided commentary.

Lorraine was in stitches, but then oor Lorraine would laugh at a kettle boiling.

The entire exercise shrieked of lazy execs looking for the next Come Dancing to resurrect.

The point about the Generation Game in its 21 million viewers prime was that it was not sly or ironic.

It worked because in Forsyth it had a light-entertainment, catchphrase-coining powerhouse, and it aired in more innocent, easier to please, times.

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The only thing the 2018 effort did better were the prizes, with a holiday in Vegas alongside the cuddly toy and chocolate fountain (more irony).

A yummier way to spend Easter Day was in the company of Ordeal by Innocence, the Beeb’s latest Agatha Christie adaptation.

Filmed on Ardgowan Estate in Greenock (and reshot after Christmas following allegations made against a previous cast member), it looked sumptuous, like a Laura Ashley catalogue come to life.

By the end of episode one, the number of suspects who might have killed mummy dearest Rachel (Anna Chancellor) could have filled a Generation Game conveyor belt.

There are two more instalments to go.

As for any more of The Generation Game, shut that door.

And bolt it.