There's truth as well as humour in this monologue from Stephen Mulrine, who introduced the Wee Malkies to the public.

Also a playwright and Russian translator, former senior lecturer at Glasgow School of Art, and creative writing teacher at Glasgow University, he's included in 100 Favourite Scottish Poems To Read Out Loud (Luath Press, £7.99).

 

A GUDE BUKE

 

Ah like a gude buke

a buke's aw ye need

jis settle doon

hiv a right gude read.

 

Ay, a gude buke's rerr

it makes ye think

nuthin tae beat it

bar a gude drink.

 

Ah like a gude buke

opens yer mine

a gude companion

tae pass the time.

 

See me wi a buke, bit

in a bus ur a train

canny whack it

wee wurld i yir ain.

 

Ay, ah like a gude buke

widny deny it

dje know thon wan

noo – whit dje cry it?

 

Awright, pal, skip it

awright, keep the heid

howm ah tae know

yir tryin tae read?