LEWIS Carroll's Alice in Wonderland has been given a make-over into "West-Central Scots" by Ayrshire doctor and writer James Andrew Begg.
His Alice becomes an equally spirited Alison. Here is one of the nonsense poems from 'Alison's Jants in Ferlieland' (Evertype, 2014)..
MOCK TURTLE'S SONG
"Will ye gang a wee bit smerter?" said the whitin tae the snail.
"There's a porpoise richt ahint us, an he's staunin on my tail.
See hou glegly aa the labsters an the turtles aa advance!
They are waitin on the shingle - will ye come an jyne the dance?
Will ye, will ye no, will ye, will ye no, will ye jyne the dance?
Will ye, will ye no, will ye, will ye no, will ye no jyne the dance?"
"Ye can really hae nae norie juist hou blithesome it will be
When they heize us up an fling us, wi the labsters, oot tae sea!"
But the snail reponed "Ower faur, ower faur!" and gied a fearfu glance -
Then he thenkt the whitin kindly, but he wadnae jyne the dance,
Wadnae, cuidnae, wadnae, cuidnae, wadnae jyne the dance.
Wadnae, cuidnae, wadnae, cuidnae, cuidnae jyne the dance.
"It matters nowt hou faur we're chuckt," cried oot his scaly freen,
"For juist ootby's anither shore - some watter in atween.
Frae Scotland ower tae Ireland, tae be shuir is nae distance -
Pit a grin on yer mug, ye daft wee slug, an come an jyne the dance.
Will ye, will ye no, will ye, will ye no, will ye jyne the dance?
Will ye, will ye no , will ye, will ye no, will ye no jyne the dance?
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