ENTREPRENEUR Mike Welch was on chipper form after announcing a 20% hike in revenue at Blackcircles and that Sir Terry Leahy was joining the board as a non-executive director.
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Mr Welch quipped: "I couldn't afford him as an executive."
We are sure the Liverpool fan, who scheduled a trip to watch his team beat Sunderland around a recent set of meetings in England, will still have a smile on his face after the weekend's football results.
STEPHEN Wong, regional director for the Hong Kong Trade Development Council (HKTDC) in Europe, outlined the many incentives for Scottish firms to do business in the former colony to an audience in Glasgow last week.
These included the linguistic capabilities of the locals.
"Taxi drivers, I can guarantee they speak better English than those in New York," he quipped, referring to a recent trip to the Big Apple.
The Bottom Line can't quite work out how big a compliment this is.
DAVID Marsden, UKTDC director for the UK, Benelux and Ireland, got his excuses in early as he attempted to cue up a short film on the attractions of Hong Kong for businesses at Glasgow's Loon Fung restaurant this week.
"I'm pre-computer," he warned.
The pressure built as boss Stephen Wong declared that Mr Marsden would be happy to "sing a song" if the film proved to be elusive. Happily for Mr Marsden, the promo was duly played.
Best of the Fools
THE Bottom Line likes nothing more than a good April Fool's tale.
Highlights from this year's canon include the press release from foreign exchange company Alpari UK, which claimed to have developed an energy drink, Liquidity, to boost the performance of forex traders.
Apparently the drink, claimed to contain a balance of secret ingredients, can give you "10 of your five a day".
Hats off also to Graham's The Family Dairy, which said demand for flavoured milk had led it to introduce chocolate milk to its range of milk, butter, cream, ice-cream and cheese.
Claiming the new Chocomoo would be available to retailers from April 1, Bridge of Allan-based Graham's said it prepared for the launch by feeding its cows with a strict diet of dark and milk chocolate.
It was all to ensure the cows produced the most natural chocolate milk on the market, the cheeky scamps declared.