Kiwis rub it in

SIR Howard Davies, hosting his first event as Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) chairman on Tuesday night, claimed he would have themed it around the Rugby World Cup if as an Englishman he hadn’t lost interest in the tournament so quickly.

He went on sadly: “To be chief executive of an institution whose chief executive and CFO are both obsessive rugby-mad Kiwis has been a cruel and unusual punishment. We also have a chief risk officer who is Australian and who has systematically turned down every business proposal put forward by the CEO and CFO, to get his own back before the inevitable catastrophe ahead.”

Courageous Corinne

THE Bottom Line likes to acknowledge those who go the extra mile for charity. And Lochwinnoch’s Corinne Hutton has gone further than most.

Ms Hutton, along with radio presenter George Bowie and 100 tenants at Skypark in Glasgow, abseiled down 140 foot from the business park’s tallest building.

It is believed Corinne was the first quadruple amputee in the UK to complete the abseil, with her efforts helping to raise £10,000 for charity – smashing the £6000 target.

Corinne had both her hands and feet amputated after suffering pneumonia and septicaemia in June 2013. She started Finding Your Feet to help others who find themselves facing similar trauma.

Corinne said: “A huge thank you to Skypark’s tenants who have made a difference to Finding Your Feet. The funds will go to help others like me who suffer life-changing physical trauma.”

Cracking the quip

THE Royal Bank of Scotland’s new chairman, pictured, showed the bank’s guests at the National Museum of Scotland that he will be quite prepared to set an informal tone when needed.

Anyone who was not an RBS customer would be signed up immediately that evening by chief executive Ross McEwan or sales chief Les Matheson, Sir Howard Davies promised, “though anti-money laundering will take another three years of course”. As to how he will lead the bank forward, he revealed: “We intend to concentrate on our strengths. Having over the last decade exhausted all other alternative strategies.”

Top-dollar homes

WE momentarily though property prices had gone off the scale in the shadow of Hampden Park, the spiritual home of Scottish football, in Glasgow.

Queen’s Park was briefly trending on Twitter this week as it emerged “walnut-lined luxury units” were on the market for $1.3 million.

We discovered on further enquiry that the apartments were not on sale in the south side of Glasgow, but near Queen’s Park in Toronto, Canada.

When porn attacks...

WE do not think the press release was aimed directly at The Bottom Line. Or at least we certainly hope not.

“Pornography has once again become the number one threat to mobile devices,” declared the statement from Blue Coat security labs, which protects more than 15,000 organisations from computer viruses around the world.

We are sure there must be a business gag in there about opportunity and risk, but we can’t think of anything appropriate for a family newspaper.