No quarter given

DEREK Weir is the first new non-executive appointed at Cooperative Bank since its bail-out by US hedge funds, but the regulators were taking no chances.

The banker, best known for his days heading up SME lending at RBS in the good old days, told MBM Commercial's conference last week: "To date I am the only one who has got through, after sitting in a room in Moorgate with no windows for four hours with six regulators, in a seven-month process."

Strange how this rigorous policing failed to detect any issues with the appointment of colourful former chairman Paul Flowers.

Tattoo pre-nup?

WE were amused to see London law firm Stephensons offering tattoo removal as part of their divorce service. No news yet on whether any Scottish lawyers will be following suit but given the propensity of inked limbs on show during the recent warm spells of weather it could be a winning idea.

Perhaps the more foresighted firms might even start to build it into their pre-nuptial advice.

Test too far?

CONTINUOUS stress testing is just one of the millstones hung round the necks of today's bankers, Derek Weir told his Edinburgh audience last week.

While he was at Barclays, in the aftermath of the crash, the bank had to run scenarios on the effects of possible unemployment on the economy.

"We had to assume three million, then four million, then they came back wanting five million. If there are five million people unemployed in Scotland, the last thing they are worrying about is Barclays corporate banking."

Values on scrapheap

NEW age management culture has no place at the new Waterford Distillery in Ireland.

Former Bruichladdich boss Mark Reynier, never a man to take life to seriously, tweeted picture of distillery manager Paul McCusker ditching a sign titled "People culture and values" in a skip.

Having led the successful rejuvenation of the Islay distiller, we can be sure that nothing will stand in Reynier's way as he looks to repeat the trick in Ireland.

Surf's up

FEW would argue that the Scottish tourism industry would benefit from more clement weather on these shores. But not everyone who holidays in Scotland does so in the hope of the sun splitting the sky, as Cal-Mac chief executive Martin Dorchester recently pointed out.

The ferry boss: "There are some guys who come to surf on Harris, because there were 80 foot waves coming in. It's madness to me, but it is extreme sport taken to that level."