It's a wrap for BIG

It's a wrap for BIG

GLASGOW-based Business Incentives Group (BIG) has set a new standard in customer service.

Bored-witless readers of The Bottom Line may recall last week that the company usually asks visitors for their biscuit of choice ahead of their trip to its Dalmarnock premises, but forgot before The Bottom Line dropped by.

No sooner had we reported this in last week's diary than boss Ian Adie dispatched a box of chocolate digestives, which that arrived at The Bottom Line HQ gift-wrapped in a red bow.

Needless to say the box did not stay wrapped for long.

Doctor at sea

NEVER take yourself too seriously. That was the lesson learned by Dr Ben Schogler from Edinburgh's Skoogmusic when keen to use his 'doctor' status after completing his PhD in psychology and music.

Having used the title when booking a plane ticket, he assumed an upgrade was on the cards when, mid-flight, a stewardess asked her to follow him to business class.

"You must picture the scene as it was in my head," he recalled. "Marvin Gaye's 'Got to give it up' was playing, people were smiling, waving at me... She then proceeded to pull back the curtain and reveal a middle-aged man in the middle of a heart attack or some related medical emergency."

Despite having picked up some medical knowledge from watching ER, Dr Schogler came clean, and the patient made a full recovery thanks to a nurse.

Locked in silence

WORKPLACES across the land observed a respectful two minutes silence on Tuesday at 11am, but perhaps one business might have been excused for not denying queuing customers their mid-morning coffee and cake. Not to be outdone, takeaway bakers Greggs insisted that their shop doors were locked and Remembrance Day was properly observed, before the next cream-filled eclair was sold.

Rocky reflection

CUMBERNAULD MP Gregg McClymont, Labour's shadow pensions minister, conjured up some colourful mental images when he drew inspiration from a 1970s cross-dressing musical to criticise Pensions Minister Steve Webb in a debate on the dry-as-dust Pension Schemes Bill.

"When he resorts to repetition of phrases such as 'backward looking' and 'time warp', at one level I am reminded of 'The Rocky Horror Show'," he complained. But which of the pair is Frank?