COUPLES spend more than £430 million celebrating Valentine’s Day each year, according to American Express, but to achieve lasting happiness, the best gift might be to spend time together sorting out your finances.

More than 23 million UK adults worry frequently or occasionally about money, while 11 million cite it as their main daily cause of stress. And over half of the daily worriers responding to a survey on price comparison website MoneySuperMarket said it was putting a strain on other areas of their life, including their health and relationships.

Yet more than a third choose to keep their concerns entirely to themselves and over 60 per cent do not share them with their partner.

They may feel they are protecting their loves ones, but they could be making a costly mistake, as research for Ocean Finance found the biggest relationship turn off was discovering a partner had secret debts.

Ian Williams, a spokesman for the lender, said: “It is just as important to be honest about money as it is about attitudes to marriage and children, otherwise you risk putting the relationship under strain.”

So instead of joining those spending on chocolates, flowers and romantic meals out this weekend, you could be better off sitting down for an open discussion about your financial situation.

Choose a time when you will not be disturbed and are not feeling overly tired or stressed. And resist talking about money when you have been drinking – minor disagreements can easily spiral into major rows when alcohol is involved.

Share your fears and your dreams, discuss attitudes to spending and saving, and, no matter how different your views, listen and make an effort to understand each other’s position.

Work to find common ground so you can agree a set of shared goals. These might include clearing debt within a certain timescale, saving for a dream holiday, new car or house deposit, or building a nest egg for your long-term future.

Decide together how you will achieve them. There is no single correct way to organise joint finances – what matters most is finding a system you are both comfortable with.

Some couples take equal responsibility for running their day-to-day finances and paying bills, while others are happier with the person who is more experienced in dealing with money bearing the brunt of this and keeping their partner informed.

Some opt to put everything in a single pot from which all spending and saving is taken, while others like to keep their earnings separate and each pay a set monthly amount into a shared account for bills. This might be the same figure for both or, if their income levels are very different, it could be a percentage of what they make.

Instead of having a joint account, other people find it works best to each take responsibility for different financial commitments.

If you decide to open a new account, Rachel Springall, finance expert at Moneyfacts, said: “Halifax are offering customers £100 when they switch to a Reward current account, but only until March when it will drop to £75, though they will continue to credit the account with a £3 monthly reward and pay up to 15 per cent cashback on shopping.

“Some current accounts can even help kick-start a savings habit, with Nationwide Building Society paying five per cent for 12 months on its FlexDirect account and Tesco Bank paying three per cent, which they have promised will remain unchanged for the next two years.”

Research shows that the key to financial happiness is not vast wealth but how well you organise your money.

Ian Atkinson, head of brand at insurer and savings provider SunLife, said: “Obviously there are lots of factors that affect our happiness, but we know that money is an important one, particularly how much spare cash we have, rather than how much we earn.”

He added: “There are things you can do with your money that make you happier. For example, those who budget are seven per cent happier than those who don’t. We also know that the happiest people in the UK are far more likely to have savings than the least happy.”

If you do not already have a joint monthly budget, work one out together based on your income, essential expenditure, including debt repayments, your shared choice of luxuries and an agreed amount for rainy day and other savings. Also decide how much you can each spend without discussing it first.

Many people find that the more attention they give to keeping track of their spending, the less they fritter away on unnecessary purchases, leaving more money to save or put towards the things that really matter to them.

When life and pensions firm Royal London gave customers smartphone budgeting apps or a pen and paper equivalent, half of those who used the app found it a useful way of monitoring their cash, while three-quarters of those using pen and paper said it was helpful. A quarter of all participants reported they became more motivated to save for unexpected expenses.

No matter how you decide to divide up your financial responsibilities, it is vital to do it in a way both sides feel is fair, to share the decision making and continue to be open with each other.

Make a regular date to get together to check your progress, discuss worries, revise plans and, most important of all, celebrate your successes.