New ball please

AS a long-standing resident of the north-east of Scotland, Bob Keiller’s views on Aberdeen Football Club’s controversial stadium plans were naturally sought by The Bottom Line when we caught up with the former Wood Group boss yesterday. And it is fair to say we perhaps did not receive the reply that we expected from the oil and gas industry veteran.

Mr Keiller said: “I’m more of a rugby fan – I’m from the Borders originally so the oval ball is my thing. I think they should replace it with a big rugby stadium instead!”

Cringe factor

THE Bottom Line feels duty bound to highlight what could conceivably be the most cringe-inducing – yet strangely inspiring – title to a press release it has received this year.

A public relations practitioner, who shall remain nameless, served up the following for a story about Heliex Power, an energy company which makes electricity from steam, winning an order from Austria: “The hills are alive with the sound of steam”. We doff our cap to the author.

Soft focus

LEADING lights of the software world are bound for Edinburgh International Conference Centre on October 5.

Ed Molyneaux, chief executive of software accountancy firm FreeAgent, Arnold Clark chief technology officer John Brown, CityFibre boss Greg Mesch and Katrin Lohan of Edinburgh Centre of Robotics, will speak at the ScotSoft Developers Conference and Leadership Forum.

The event will include the presentation of the Young Software Engineer of the Awards.

Polly Purvis of organiser ScotlandIS said: “The event will provide insight into the latest innovations in technology and thinking that will drive the sector forward in the years to come.”

Out with a bang

PERHAPS the most bizarre tale to land on the business desk this week concerned the lifelong smoker who will be laid to rest in a coffin designed to resemble her favourite cigarette brand. But it turns out there is quite the market in saying goodbye in style.

A search on Comparethecoffin.com by our colleague who wrote the piece revealed that, for just £80, you can request to have your ashes launched 1,000 feet in the air by a rocket. That’s what we call going out with a bang.