IT is like a game of table tennis. The press conferences at Wimbledon are the scenes of the most inconsequential, irrelevant chit-chat since the demise of the chimpanzee tea party at Calderpark Zoo. It is the ping-pong of patter. The verbal exchanges ping across the table. The content sometimes pongs.
IT is like a game of table tennis. The press conferences at Wimbledon are the scenes of the most inconsequential, irrelevant chit-chat since the demise of the chimpanzee tea party at Calderpark Zoo. It is the ping-pong of patter. The verbal exchanges ping across the table. The content sometimes pongs.
The conferences are mandatory for players. Many view these assignations with the same anticipation one usually reserves for a visit to a dipsomaniac dentist who suspects you are having an affair with his wife. There is a set pattern. The players are usually asked about tennis. What about that cross-court lob on the second point of the third game when you were in trouble against the kicked sliced serve? Some players cannot remember what court they were on, never mind the soddin' third game.
The interrogation progresses to discussion of the next opponent. They are uniformly "great players" who will be "dangerous" and cannot be "taken lightly". They are never, ever hopeless patsies who provide a decent workout before the next round. The questions can then drift to places where they are washed up on the desert island of the poor player. They have just run about for three hours in tropical heat chasing a little yellow ball - except if they are the Williams sisters and their match has taken as long as a Roger Federer toilet break - and now they face daft questions. They can be equally daft. And they can retaliate.
ON SEX AND ASSIGNATIONS
Sex sells. I just know that.
Serena Williams
Angelina Jolie is great. She's hot. She's super sexy.
Serena Williams
Q. Was it strange seeing Nigel?
A. I didn't see him.
Daniela Hantuchova
Q. Do you have a boyfriend?
A. We talking about tennis here?
Gisela Dulko
ON FALLS AND SQUALLS
I had an upset stomach. That's probably all the details that need to be printed.
James Blake
Q. You took a nasty tumble. What happened?
A. I slipped.
Venus Williams
Q. It took so long for a break in serve to come. When it did, could you sense it coming? Do you smell it, sense it?
A. No.
Fernando Verdasco
THE WISDOM
Since he was a child, he has always been Michael Jackson.
Serena Williams
There is no higher position than No.1.
Ana Ivanovic
He is much older than I am.
Roger Federer on Nelson Mandela
There is not much I can do about my height
Melanie Oudin
THE FAILURES
Q. Can you moonwalk?
A. No
Serena Williams
Q. How do you mean you didn't play?
A. I didn't play.
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga
Q. Does Maggie your dog recognise you on TV?
A. No.
Andy Murray
ON WRONG QUESTIONS
Q. Did you have high hopes for the tournament?
A. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga
Q. What is your main strength?
A. I would say tennis is my main strength.
Melanie Oudin
Q. How was it meeting Nelson Mandela?
A. Unfortunately, I have not met Nelson Mandela. I don't know if I am sad about it.
Roger Federer
Q. Are you surprised?
A. You know, I don't know.
Venus Williams
ON THE WRONGEST QUESTION SINCE EVE ASKED ADAM IF HE FANCIED AN APPLE
Q. At Rome this year when you played Zheng Jie, you came back from 5-2 down to win 7-5, but you came off court upset saying: Sometimes I go on court and it's like someone else playing'. It was frustrating for you. Do you still feel like that sometimes?
A. Well . . .
Q. Sorry, not an easy question. How is your knee?
A. Knee is great.
Dinara Safina
ON COUNTRY AND WESTERN
It is not easy being a woman.
Jelena Jankovic
