Tom Shields

The Queen and her government have created an honour for families of armed forces personnel killed in conflicts since the second world war. I hope this brings some comfort to the wives, children and other relatives of those freshly fallen in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Families who lost loved ones in Korea and Malaya some 60 years ago and in other now distant campaigns may wonder why it has taken Queen and country so long to remember.

The honour is called the Elizabeth Cross. The Ministry of Defence (MoD) refers to it as the Died On Operations Recognition Award. The MoD says: "The Elizabeth Cross is not a posthumous medal for the fallen but an emblem demonstrating tangible national recognition for Service families for their loss."

I am no expert on military matters but it seems that merely being a British soldier these days deserves a medal for conduct above and beyond the call of duty.

They go to Iraq and Afghanistan knowing their armoured vehicles are not armoured enough. The rifle may jam. The radio may go on the blink. If they wanted state-of-the-art body armour they should have bought their own.

It is trite and obvious, so I will say it. Never mind the medals, what about some proper kit?

The Elizabeth Cross is an elegant silver brooch. It will be something tangible when children ask about the daddy they never got to know because he went to war. If they read the history, these children may conclude that daddy's death was a waste. There was no point to the Iraq war. Don't be vague, blame Tony Blair. Blame his Labour colleagues who remained silent.

And how many times do we have to fight the Taliban? We won the first war. If they win this second round, does it go on to the best of three?

The MoD has a list of the recent casualties. Families of those who died in action years ago will have to apply. There are eligibility rules. It's for "those who died from whatever cause whilst serving on a medal earning operation". And also for "those who died on a non-medal earning operational task where death has been caused by the inherent high risk of the task".

Chief of the defence staff, Air Chief Marshal Sir Jock Stirrup, said: "There are always very difficult issues around the boundary. Each will be addressed on its merits." Which means that you can ask for an Elizabeth Cross but you may not get one.Your family member may have been killed in a non-medal-earning operational task without inherent high risk. The rejected may feel no matter how their loved ones perished, they died for nothing.

We have some medals in the Shields family. My grandfather John Shields was killed in the Great War. It was called the Great War not because the various generals thought it was jolly spiffing (though they probably did) but because it was the war to end war. It didn't end war and became known as the first world war.

Gunner Shields J, number 37575, was killed in a fight over a small part of Belgium near a village called Zillebeke. Zillebeke still has a massive bomb crater which I must go and see some day.

My grandfather got a medal for going to war. Granny got a medal for his not coming back. He was blown to bits, literally cannon fodder. The medals, when we take them out of the drawer, are no consolation, just a reminder of the pointlessness of his death.

The Elizabeth Cross comes with a memorial scroll. Unless your family member died in Korea and you will already have had your scroll. The wording of the scroll, according to the MoD website, is: "This Scroll Commemorates who gave his/her life for Queen and Country on "

It was written by former poet laureate Sir Andrew Motion and may not have been a full morning's work. The scroll does not actually say "his/her". They have gone to the trouble of putting in his for a male and her for a female. Otherwise it would have been too reminiscent of the letter of condolence in Joseph Heller's anti-war novel Catch-22.

In an effort to get publicity and be promoted to general, the novel's Colonel Cathcart has a corporal clerk with a talent for bureaucracy craf t a letter to grieving families. It read: "Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded or reported missing in action."

Perhaps I have been indoctrinated by Catch-22, but I suspect there may be a hint of Colonel Cathcart opportunism about this wholesale award of the Elizabeth Cross. The initiative comes from an unpopular government about to face an election. It comes from a royal family about to renegotiate pay and conditions. Both institutions will be looking to bask in a caring, patriotic glow.

SUCH are the dire financial straits of Windsor Inc, that the Queen will be asking for a hefty increase from public funds when her current deal runs out in December next year. The royal family cost the taxpayer £41 million last year, but that was mostly on aircraft to take Charles to sunny places and helicopters to get Andrew to the golf course.

The bit the Queen will be negotiating is the Civil List which is the royal petty cash. It has remained at £7.9m a year since 1990. This used to be enough. In fact HM was able to squirrel a lot of it away.

Now the royal stash is depleted. Much of it went on wages for flunkeys. Not enough on the upkeep of Buckingham Palace and the rest of Windsor property portfolio. Some rooms at Buck House have not had a lick of paint since the old king died. Apparently £40m is needed just to catch up, never mind get a new three-piece suite in the DFS sale.

I am devastated at the royals' plight. I want to help. Here are a few suggestions.

Don't employ so many staff. Wake up and make your own coffee.

Don't employ so many folk with such exotic titles as Yeoman Of The Pantries, Maid To The Coffee Room and Page Of The Backpassage, also known as Page Of The Backstairs.

Flog a few homes. Or get into the bed and breakfast business. There are plenty Windsors not gainfully employed who could cook the bacon and eggs.