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Are Scots genetically incapable of making political decisions?

"Scots are not genetically programmed to make political decisions."

Who said that? Too modern for Edward Longshanks. Maggie Thatcher maybe? No, it was our own Johann Lamont, leader of the Scottish Labour Party. "One Nation", two gene pools.

Her slip of the tongue during a recently televised debate with Nicola Sturgeon is surely the most damaging political revelation since…….well, since the 'No' campaign's secret codename, "Project Fear", leaked out.

One wonders what the likes of Lamont think Scots are genetically programmed to do. Bevvying, maybe? Fighting? Partying? Dribbling a leather ball? But not, it seems, running our own affairs. Presumably the job of ruling needs Anglo-Saxon genes, ideally nurtured on the playing fields of Eton.

Lamont's declaration was undoubtedly made in the heat of the moment. A throwaway remark, maybe. No doubt she'd like to take it back. Nonetheless, a moment of truth.

The Labour leader's gaffe hasn't attracted much attention. That's not a surprise. After all, Lamont's political record hardly suggests she has DNA infused with intellectual autonomy or celtic fighting spirit.

Even the minimalist powers for Scots proposed in the 1979 devolution package horrified her. She gave that a firm 'No'. Since the 1990s, she's toed her party's line on devolution - and done well out of it as far as her own political career is concerned.

But she is certainly no dynamic leader forging a distinctive path for the Scottish Left. Rather, she gives the impression of being a junior administrator waiting by the phone for the next set of instructions from chromosomally superior comrades like Miliband. Is there any single instance of her putting forward a proposal she thought might benefit Scotland but which deviated from the orders of Labour HQ in London?

Where, I wonder, do Lamont's views on genetics come from? She doesn't have a scientific background but she has spoken warmly of her religious upbringing.

Possibly she's been reflecting on that famous conversation God had with the Archangel Gabriel when he got round to creating Scotland. Versions of it appear on greeting cards, dish towels and other 'Bonnie Scotland' souvenirs.

Gabriel: "But, God, aren't you being overly kind to these Scots? After all, you've given them splendid mountains and lochs, beautiful scenery, brave men, fine women, nice cool weather and lots of oil. Plus stirring music and whisky."

God: "Oh, just wait till you see the horrid neighbours I'm giving them."

Maybe the Blessed Lamont imagines she was privileged to hang around and hear the rest of this conversation.

Gabriel: "But, God, won't these horrid neighbours want all the wonderful things you've given Scotland for themselves?"

God: "Mmm. You may be right. I'll tell you what I'll do. To avoid trouble in the future, I'll genetically programme these Scots so that they are unable to make political decisions. That way, they'll be forced into a union with the neighbours."

Lamont's blunder has of course nothing to do with her scientific knowledge or religious beliefs. It's simply the unintended surfacing of what she really thinks about the capacities of her fellow Scots. Her unconsciousness mind, fed up with all the politically correct cover stories, demanded its say at last.

Lamont's remark confirms what we've long suspected. Deep-down, the leaders of the 'No' campaign don't believe Scots are capable of running their own affairs. We're just too stupid, right enough.

Well, Johann, your truth is out. I'm sure you'll remember the bible from your childhood. To paraphrase John in the New Testament, we shall know the truth, and the truth shall make us free.

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Local government

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