A month ago Australia's national football team, The Socceroos, successfully triumphed in the Asian Cup after an extra time battle against the might of South Korea, currently ranked 54th on FIFA rankings.

This victory occurred despite the immutable geographical detail that Australia is not actually in Asia, with the final, played in Sydney, being the small matter of five and a half thousand kilometres from the nearest bona-fide Asian capital, Jakarta, Indonesia.

To put this in context, travel a similar distance from Glasgow and you would end up in Philadelphia, USA, where, incidentally, they operate a football league called CASA, currently advertising for participating teams.

Of course, you can't blame the Aussies for taking advantage of FIFA's illogical reasoning.

The world is truly getting smaller, though you still wouldn't want to paint it (copyright, every ropy 1970's comedian), though as far as I'm aware, Australia is still an island continent separated from the rest of the world by some considerable topographical detachment.

But then again, is it really?

Word has just emerged, in a piece of news designed to make the Australia/Asia non-connection seem utterly small-time, that the Aussies will in fact be participating in this year's Eurovision Song Contest.

I kid you not. For reasons known only to the shadowy figures who organise said bad taste jamboree, but quite possibly not unconnected to various financial considerations, 'Australian pop sensation Guy Sebastian' will be flying the flag for all that is camp, tuneless and irredeemably naff in Vienna come May 23.

Strangely enough the Australian show biz fraternity are cock-a-hoop at this accomplishment. Eurovision has always been popular here and even though the event takes place on a Saturday night - Sunday morning locally - there are always bars and clubs which stage special satellite screenings with punters encouraged to attend in full tasteless Euro-garb.

By the way, 'Australian pop sensation Guy Sebastian' is a one-time Idol winner whose career has never quite made the leap from local hero to international icon. Now, signed up for Eurovision, his 'people' will no doubt be looking to get the brand name out there, even if most of the mentions will almost certainly be of the taking-the-piss variety.

The musical elements of Eurovision, described as 'a mish-mash of power ballads, ethnic rhythms and bubble-gum pop' have always taken second place to the overt political bias of the voting system whereby nations automatically awarded maximums to their chums and 'nil point' to traditional foes.

This could easily explain why the internationally unpopular United Kingdom has won so rarely, though the fact that we've been represented by artistes such as Black Lace, Michael Ball and, the forever etched in your mind, Love City Groove (who?) might also have something to do with it.

And it isn't only recently that the contest has been the province of the crass and the creaky. Back in the day, 'our' representatives numbered Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson (Sing Little Birdie), Bill Maynard (Don't Cry Little Doll) and even Kenneth McKellar (A Man without Love). All tunes, I'm sure you agree, that milkmen merrily whistle to this very day.

So, in other words, given the required benchmark, 'Australian pop sensation Guy Sebastian' must be in with a fighting chance.

Guy's song is, at the time of writing, yet to be chosen, but the man himself, known for his squeaky clean image and a personality best described as zero plus zero, has already declared himself 'pumped' for the challenge.

Telling us that he'll almost certainly be performing a trademark ballad in his signature musical style, whatever that means, Guy has described the event as 'quirky, full of glitz and grandiosity', which of course, is another way of saying that it's a right old load of pony and trap.

Since Australia has no particular friends or enemies amongst the other participating nations it's hard to know how they'll do when the votes come in, but given the generally nondescript standard of Guy's recent work, I'd say there's every reason for genuine optimism.

Unless the rules have changed, part of the winning nation's responsibilities are the hosting of the following year's competition which could be a mitigating factor given the distance involved, surely an onerous mission for hard-up countries like Greece and Ukraine.

Then again, given the way the organisers are playing fast and loose with the atlas these days, there isn't any reason why an Australian hosted Eurovision couldn't be held in Millport.

After all, it's got the beach and the sun. It's quirky.

And, crucially, it's a venue absolutely jam packed with all the necessary grandiosity and glamour.