Just Janice: why I hate the puerile pap that is Star Wars

Janice Forsyth

Thursday 1 November 2012

In the radio and TV series, I've Never Seen Star Wars, famous people try out experiences that are new to them, but which are regular activities for other people.

For example, Joan Bakewell put a line on at the bookies, Ian Hislop bought a pair of jeans, Barry Cryer read Catcher In The Rye.

If Alastair Campbell were on, he might try not to be smug and overbearing for five minutes.

I propose a follow-up series - I Wish I’d Never Seen Star Wars. No, change that to I Wish Star Wars Had Never Been Made. Not the catchiest series title, but a concept that would surely attract a wide audience. I know I’m not alone in having been bored witless by the first film, the ensuing sequels and prequels, the animated TV series, the tinkering with the originals, the merchandising, and the obsessive fandom and relentless analysis of every frame of each, over-long movie. If only Francis Ford Coppola and Brian De Palma had been more vocal when director, George Lucas, showed them a Star Wars rough cut back in 1977 - apparently they found it baffling. So, 35 years later, the franchise is back in the news with Disney’s purchase of the Lucasfilm company for £2.5billion. As recently as 2008, George had ruled out the possibility of the Star War series continuing, saying "I've left pretty explicit instructions for there not to be any more features - there will definitely be no Episodes 7-9." Cue partying at my house. This week, we find out that he’s set to act as a consultant on ...Episode 7, due for release in 2015. There is good news, though - Lucas plans to put the bulk of the money into a foundation which will focus on educational issues - with any luck, training a new generation to use their brains and reject such puerile pap. In the meantime, fans with nothing better to do with their time are divided over the deal. While some are worried that the Disney empire may ruin the Evil Empire, others are whiling away their endless adolescence by coining mashup film titles - including When You Wish Upon a Death Star, Bambi Wan Kenobi and Snow White and the Seven Droids. Very funny, but I think Lucas has been taking the Mickey all along. Another George who did just that was the late Scottish artist, George Wyllie, but he used humour to encourage the viewer to think about a range of issues. I’m thankful that I knew the man and experienced some of his art events, including the burning of the Straw Locomotive and the launch of the Paper Boat. He even read Joseph Conrad to me on a flight to Amsterdam, but that’s another story. Whether you know his work or not, I urge you to find the time to go to In Pursuit of the Question Mark, the major retrospective, opening at the Mitchell in Glasgow - part of a year-long George Wyllie celebration, the Whysman Festival.

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Just Janice: why I hate the puerile pap that is Star Wars

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