Apparently Britain’s pets are causing £3.3 billion worth of damage to homes each year through destructive behaviour.

The average pet owner forks out £690 a year on repairs to their homes which include re-upholstering couches and replacing carpets and chewed skirting boards.

The figure has been estimated by Kong, purveyors of quirky rubber chews which are designed to lure knashers away from the chintz sofa and claim to be indestructible. Mac was once the proud of owner of a Kong - one of the few things he was unable to chew to smithereens - but as the idea is to stuff it with treats, it was stolen from the garden by a fox. 

While definitely a calmer beast now, Mac definitely has form when it comes to chewing up the house. Arriving as a 10-month-old pup fresh from the farm, his previous accommodation had been a barn which he shared with around two dozen furry friends. Let’s just say, peeing outside was as close to house-proud as theses pooches got.

Back at chez nous, the first casualty of Mac’s appetite was the coffee table. Roughly snout height with similar consistency to the much-loved stick, it was a dead cert. Slightly less predictable, was the window sill above the kitchen sink which was chewed to oblivion every time Mac gazed out the window.

Then there were the cushions of every hue and texture which were ravished and the fluff spread around the house. And then the scratched wooden doors when he found himself accidentally locked in the bathroom. And the bedroom carpet which he scratched bare by repeatedly burrowing a groove for himself.

The biggest outlay was the couches which, having acquired a distinct canine whiff, were traded in after a trip to the boxing day sales. (I’d just like to point out that Mac is not allowed on the sofa but often, when left to his own devices, he will park himself in the cosiest corner, curl up like a croissant and go for a snooze.) 

Actually, come to think of it, £690 a year is sounding about right. But when it comes to being torn between soft furnishings and your best friend, there really is no contest.