Feminist issues aren't usually the stuff of comedy, but what woman wouldn't have laughed when she heard Microsoft's hapless CEO tell a conference of female computer workers that those who want a better wage should not go begging but instead "have faith in the system".

Rather than resort to persuasion or bargaining, Satya Nadella told his audience last week that those who believed they deserved more ought to rely on "good karma" to sort things out.

Mr Nadella has since made a U-turn so sharp he nearly broke his axle. Now chastened, he says that women who feel they deserve a pay rise should simply ask. Of course, this change of heart came not because of any sudden enlightenment, but thanks to the twittersphere going nuclear - as no doubt did most working women.

His comments were offensive on many levels. Microsoft, like other tech industries, is heavily male-dominated (the ratio is approximately 70:30, as it is in similar companies such as Google, Yahoo and Facebook). Yet one cannot blame his gaffe purely on the fact that his workplace is lathered in testosterone. His attitude is not the result of nurture but of nature: a brutal reminder that for all the bluster about gender balance, equal opportunities and the smashing of glass ceilings, women, whoever the employer, are usually seen as lesser by male bosses.

The idea that we should wait for karma to correct our pay cheque is like a Victorian factory-owner or shopkeeper quashing a request for a rise as unladylike. As in the olde-worlde dating market, so it remains in today's workplace: women are expected to sit on the sidelines until they are noticed, not clamour like fishwives for their due.

I've always wanted to meet a fishwife and find out why she is held up as the epitome of feistiness. Over the years I've certainly wished I had some of her spirit. In various offices I have watched some distinctly mediocre men demand a higher reward or better job, and get it; and seen more talented women not even consider doing the same, either because they didn't think they were good enough, or found it shameful to ask.

The difficulty of talking about wages goes deeper than a sense of worth, however. A man can request a rise without fearing he will be marked down for doing so. At the very least, he will have earned respect for standing up for himself. Most women find it uncomfortable to put a value on what we do, let alone demand it. The roots of this go back aeons, long before the first days of women going out to work, be it in Peterhead's fishing sheds or the Merchant City's offices.

A historic culture of being ignored, belittled and overlooked, in the home as well as the workplace, continues to influence our lives. Despite a steady reduction in the gap between men and women's pay, last year the UK gender divide was 19.7%. For full-time working women, this represents a differential of 15% an hour, or £5,000 a year.

You can be certain that if we were to rely on the "system" to reward us fairly, women would still be paid in farthings, and expected to act as waitress at every office meeting.

The issues around women's pay are depressingly simple. First, there is the ingrained notion that because women are generally less assertive or confident they are not doing as good a job as their male counterparts. And second, there is an undying - call it atavistic - aversion to women who stand up for themselves or raise their voices, literally or metaphorically. You see it in meetings, in parliament, and in restaurants. When a man argues or complains, nobody blinks. This is normal behaviour, and it often brings results. When a woman does the same, those nearby are either startled or affronted, and the words "nippy sweetie" and "screech owl" and worse are muttered behind her back.

The message is clear and ugly: we are meant to be docile, and take what we are offered. Otherwise, if we make a fuss we risk getting nothing at all. Hence being encouraged to trust to the benevolence and wisdom of our employers, who will see us right, don't you worry. If it weren't so funny, it would make you weep. But then they'd just tell us to calm down.