NO SOONER had the news leaked out that men in Scotland's affluent areas were outliving their poorer counterparts than a top Tory got up on his hind legs and spoke of all this extra life as a burden.

You'd think the poor (in the non-material sense) sods were supposed to be feel guilty about soldiering on without a thought for the taxpayer. Lord knows, they've enough guilt on their conscience after voting No.

You'd have thought, in fact, that a top Tory would want to encourage this life thing, as it means a longer period of voting for his party and keeping the nasty Nats down.

Jackson Carlaw, for it was he, warned of the extra burden on the health service and, in a variation of the "proud Scot but" trope, said: "Any increase in life expectancy is welcome, but we have to appreciate this brings with it additional challenges for the NHS and the local authorities."

Yes, that is a pity. One feels for these important local bodies. To be fair to the nation's leading Carlaw, he also highlighted as "grim" the inequality that put the life expectancy of the most deprived males at 69.9 years compared to 82.4 for the least deprived. Many of the least deprived will have private healthcare, so hell mend them, so to speak.

Some of the places that I've lived in must have taken years off my life. I think now of these grey concrete vistas, with litter on the shaven-headed grass and dog poo where flowers should have been.

The only cure for it, I recall, was a fish supper, something warming and "nice". You don't listen to neighbours through paper-thin walls, contemplate wasteland through the window, and think: "I could fair murder an avocado salad."

You don't find the poor jogging either. That's an affectation of the bourgeoisie - those with something to live longer for.

But all sorts of things are trying to kill us, regardless of class.

Loneliness is the latest assassin, said now to be a more ruthless killer than obesity. Still, it's grand to know we're not alone and that everyone else is dying of loneliness too.

Alone among all inhabitants of the universe, the Earthlings wail: "Aw naw, we're living longer. What are we going to do?"

Life, it's such a problem. And so unfair. Some people just have no consideration.