It is called the roof of the world, but at this rate they will have to build a loft extension – if they can get it through planning.
Mount Everest is getting silly now. There are pensioners up there. Guys in trainers. People in flip-flops (South Africans). Families having picnics. No wonder it is getting shorter: it is being trodden down.
Remember when going up Everest really meant something?
Now it is like Center Parcs, only cheaper. Anyone can do it. We have just tried to book for this week, but it is half-term, so forget it.
This Wednesday marks the 60th anniversary of the first ascent of the mountain and doubtless the queues are already forming.
It is crowded at the best of times – a cross between the opening of one of those new Ikeas and the Boxing Day sales – but this week is sure to be ridiculous. Yes, the authorities have said the mountain will stay open late on Wednesday to cope with the demand, and the food court at Base Camp has brought in extra staff, but one wonders if push isn't coming to shove now.
Actually, this has already happened. A couple of weeks ago, Sherpas were involved in a brawl with rival climbing parties that only ended when Joanna Lumley was lowered in by helicopter to sort things out.
Two Scandinavian climbers said there were about 100 people trying to reach the summit earlier this month, while the line at Costa at Base Camp stretched half-way back to Kathmandu.
People are now beginning to suggest the unthinkable. There is talk of contra-flows, passing lanes, mini roundabouts, even – whisper it quietly – an escalator. You might imagine 80-year-old Yuichiro Miura from Japan could have used the latter.
Despite having had four heart operations, he became the oldest man to reach the summit last Thursday and made a chirpy phone call to his family to tell them he was there. He admitted to being "the most tired" he had ever been, but he did not mention escalators (perhaps because he would have had to fall on his crampons in shame).
His achievement prompted a rush of applications from nursing homes who say that as long as they are back to see that nice Anna Ford in the antiques programme it sounds like fun.
Meanwhile, a leak from Otis elevator company has revealed early plans for an Everest lift. You can hear it now. "South Col: men's waterproofs, karabiners, soft furnishings -"
Roger Tagholm Crowded at the top
on ...
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