COME the revolution it will be heels against the wall.
High heel shoes are tools of beauty, yes, but also oppression.
Certainly they look delightful but not worn on a human foot. Heels are there to be displayed - few women can carry off a real high heel elegantly for more than, say, an hour and not if she has anything of consequence to do. Sitting at a bar, perhaps, or being chauffeured. But nothing interesting.
A group of women in their 50s was apparently turned away from a gala screening at Cannes this week for the terrible faux pas of wearing flat shoes. Ironically, they were trying to view Todd Haynes's Carol, a film about a lesbian relationship featuring stars who have spoken out about sexism.
Another woman, a film producer, was told to scoot after showing up in flats. She had a reasonable excuse - a partially amputated left foot - but not reasonable enough for the Cannes dress code.
Asif Kapadia, director of the Amy Winehouse documentary having its premiere in Cannes last week tweeted that his wife had initially been denied entry to the screening because of her footwear.
The hashtag #showmeyourflats was developed in solidarity.
At a press call Emily Blunt, the actress, suggested everyone should wear flat shoes in protest. Her co-star Javier Bardem offered to wear high heels in solidarity. Come the red carpet neither kept to their promises. But it was sweet of them to think about it.
Cannes's director, Thierry Frémaux, denied that high heels are obligatory. "The rumour saying the festival insists on high heels for women on the red carpet is unfounded," he said.
The Flatgate controversy has been linked to sexism in the film industry, an issue the actress Salma Hayek spoke out about earlier in the week.
Well, when you attend one of the most glitzy and high fashion events in the global film calendar you might expect a hard line taken on the dress code.
As someone frugal enough that they walk to and from the local nightspots, I usually wear sneakers and carry heels in a bag. Recently, on arrival at a dance hall, I realised my heels were resting in my hallway and I had only my lace up flats. They happened to be the same lace ups flats I wore to dance in the Opening Ceremony of the Commonwealth Games. That's totally irrelevant, I just like to say it.
Dancing all night in flat shoes was night time life changing - the floor was mine from arrival to lights up, my feet felt fine and pain free.
Heels are a nonsense fashion item. Though I suppose the one benefit to a high heel is that it's much easier to pivot on. Pivot on and stride away far away from uppity idiots that make diktats on what a woman chooses to wear to a festival celebrating the activity of sitting down in the dark.
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