I'm going to burst this balloon at some time in the next five minutes, the speaker said.

Now I would like you to close your eyes. Along with 12 other women, I did.

There was silence. As I started to relax I heard a discordant squeak-squeak. She was rubbing the balloon. I braced myself. Would she burst it now? Two minutes later I heard it again on the other side of the room; squeak-squeak. It was curiously unnerving. And then she did it right in my face and I thought it would explode and a surge of adrenalin rushed through me as my body went into fight or flight mode. My heart raced, my face flushed. I was trembling and fearful.

And all on account of a balloon. What if it had been an angry man?

I was attending a domestic abuse workshop. It's the closest I have ever been to domestic violence, and as close as I ever want to get. But the powerful effect of that sudden terror gave me a pin-hole glimpse into what too many victims suffer all day, every day. When will their partner's smile turn to a snarl? Where will they find fault? What might make them snap? Squeak-squeak.

Between 2012 and 2013, on at least 60,080 occasions someone in Scotland, more than likely a woman, felt the balloon burst. Our rates of domestic violence shame us. Like child abuse, we have been blind and deaf to it for far too long. It doesn't occupy a parallel universe. It's there to see if we look. Domestic violence accounts for 15 per cent of violent crime in Scotland. It occupies 20 per cent of police time. And that is only what is reported.

But can we detect change in the air? England has used its Clare's Law to inform 1,300 people of their partner's violent history, according to figures released yesterday. Voices are being raised to demand that the violent and stalkers are registered like sex offenders.

Here Police Scotland is running an innovative pilot scheme in two areas. It goes by the clunky and unmemorable title of the Disclosure Scheme for Domestic Abuse Scotland. It bears similarities to Clare's Law but goes one better. In Ayrshire and Aberdeen City, a woman (or man) can check whether a partner has a history of violent offences. Also, the police are taking the initiative. They are also informing unsuspecting potential victims of their partner's worrying history. In the two months the pilot has been active, 24 people have asked for information and four have been approached by the police.

The numbers are tiny set against the scale of the problem but it is early days. If the pilot is a success the scheme will be rolled out across the country. It is easily accessible through a form on the Police Scotland website. Even this speaks volumes about the problem. The form is designed to leave no trace on the browsing history of anyone who completes it. It asks for a safe way (place/ time/number) for the police to get back in touch. There is also a speed button for leaving the site.

Those never abused might wonder why. Those who have been on the receiving end won't need told.

Those with a controlling partner will walk on egg shells even if there is no physical violence. Their movements are monitored, their phones and computers are checked. They've probably been discouraged from maintaining close friendships and strong family links. They have received so many put-downs and insults that their self esteem is flattened and they blame themselves when things go wrong. They're often isolated, home alone with a balloon that bursts at unexpected moments and expels bad temper. Their adrenalin triggers at every false alarm.

For some of them ending the relationship makes matters worse. As in the case of Clare Wood, after whom the law is named, the abuser turns stalker. Clare was strangled and her body burned by a former partner. In Scotland in 2012/13, 11 women were murdered by a former partner. This is the high-risk end of domestic violence and it frequently involves serial offenders.

In London, Laura Richards, founder of Paladin, the National Stalking Advocacy Service, has gathered 122,000 signatures on a petition to put domestic abusers and stalkers on ViSOR, the Violence and Sex offenders register. She wants domestic violence perpetrators dealt with like sex offenders.

Richards, who is a former head of the Metropolitan Police's Homicide Prevention Unit, complains that no framework exists to track or monitor serial stalkers and domestic violence perpetrators. Often it is the victims who are forced to modify and change their behaviour, flee their homes in order to stay safe. She says this is the reason why refuges are in demand and victims continue to be moved around the country. Multi-agency Risk Assessment Conferences (MARACs) also tend to focus on the victim too rather than the perpetrator. She said: "We track victims when they move but not the problem - the perpetrator. This needs to change."

Mhairi McGowan, director of Assist in Glasgow, a support project to raise awareness of violence against women and children, agrees that perpetrators of abuse must be held accountable for their behaviour. She said: "I can see the advantages of a register of serious and serial offenders such as those that Police Scotland's Domestic Abuse Task Force target, but it's a complex area and would require discussion and further thought.

"Here the police also have a multi-agency process for targeting high level perpetrators, so we do have opportunities in Scotland to hold perpetrators accountable. Of course, there is always more that we can do and improvements are required across a range of sectors. Unfortunately, victims of domestic abuse are still held responsible for the behaviour of the perpetrator and that has to stop.

"The Disclosure Scheme Domestic Abuse Scotland (DSDAS) has only recently been introduced into Scotland and I think it is important to wait till the end of the pilot period to see what the outcomes are and what difference it makes."

I agree but I have sympathy for Richards's heightened sense of urgency south of the Border. She reminds us that, in the worst cases, "this is about homicide prevention. We have compared all civil and criminal protective orders available and none of them imposes a positive obligation on a perpetrator to attend treatment programs or to notify police when they change their name, move to a different area, travel abroad or form new relationships.

"It is vital their offending history follows them to ensure protection to victims. Many dangerous serial perpetrators continue to remain unsupervised and unmonitored."

In professions where acronyms abound and everything is decided by committee, progress can seem glacial. Meanwhile the abuse continues. But there is within our bureaucracy and within our culture a tectonic shift in attitude. Today a partner who is heavy with their fists or controlling with their moods knows themselves to be in the wrong. They may lord it around the house but they know that, exposed to their neighbours and friends, they, not their victim, would be the one despised. Exposed to the law, they will increasingly have a case to answer. The ground is shifting, thank heavens. It's exposing the violent, the bullying and the controlling. Soon they'll find it hard to hide in plain sight. Before too long I hope they will find it impossible.