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Dancing with the devil

It's been a good week for ...

dad dancers

Yes, sir, you can boogie. Or maybe not. But all is not lost. There could soon be a cure for dad dancing. Northumbria University experts, who presumably had nothing more pressing to research, believe they have found the motivating factors behind various dance-floor moves.

Their groundbreaking study has found that moving certain parts of the body has an effect on the opposite sex. Apparently, women prefer men who can move the top half of their body fluently - meaning those who copy the style of pop star Justin Timberlake, below, are most likely to be considered attractive.

Women who dance using their bottom halves - like singer Beyonce - were the most appealing to men.

The researchers filmed volunteers dancing in order to define the difference between "good" and "bad" moves. It all seems a bit of a waste of time and money, not to mention energy. But at least there's now a formula for shaking your booty.

I'm sure the How Not To Dance Like Dad manual will be hot off the press soon. In the meantime, dad (and mum) dancers had best stick to stripping willows and the like.

And be warned: attempting to move it like Timberlake or Beyonce after the age of 25 is definitely to be avoided. We don't want murder on the dancefloor.

It's been a bad week for ... Lego

Innocent fun? No - Lego is actually the work of the devil.

Parents in Poland have been warned by a priest about the dangers of letting their children play with the plastic bricks. Father Slawomir Kostrzewa says Lego is a tool of Satan that can lead children to the dark side.

Fr Kostrzewa's warnings currently only extend to Lego's series of Monster Fighters and Zombie mini-figures. "Friendly fellows have been replaced by dark monsters," he said. "These toys can have a negative effect on children. They can destroy their souls and lead them to the dark side."

He also referenced some research undertaken in New Zealand that found Lego figures' facial expressions had become angrier over the years, which makes them look more evil.

Just goes to show that the people at Lego know more about children than Fr Kostrzewa. Dark monsters and evil looks? Sounds perfectly child-friendly.

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