I got an exciting email the other day asking me to be a regional expert in a new book about pizza.

I say book but, of course, I mean to be more accurate: guide. A guide to the best pizzerias of the world, apparently. I say exciting and I mean exciting to the book's editor.

My first reaction to the invitation was one of deep and unreserved un-enthusiasm. I scanned it to see how much this honour would cost me. Cost always featuring somewhere in the emails I now receive fairly regularly expressing complete astonishment that I have not yet taken up the invitation to be in the Great Food Critics Guide of Glasgow at a price of only $500-a-year.

Or even more regularly the International Guide to the top One Million Lawyers (my other job) cost, er $500-a-year. These are only outgunned by the emails telling me the great news that my firm has been shortlisted for a prestigious International lawyers/attorneys of the year award and all I have to do is send off lots of dough and I'll be ready to go.

How many awards these days (that don't take place just in the minds of internet entrepreneurs) come without the need to take a full table at the glittering awards ceremony at a cost usually running to hundreds if not thousands?

How many restaurants have a little sticker somewhere saying they're winners of such and such an award that you may or may not have ever heard of or are mentioned in such a such a guide that you may or may not have ever read?

Don't get me wrong, my only regret is I didn't get into the award and guide business myself before it really took off relatively recently - I may yet do so. But it is becoming almost impossible to work out what has value and what doesn't.

Anyway, I may have jumped the gun on this particular guide. It turns out I'm not going to be charged to be a regional expert. It isn't aimed at the restaurant industry either, but at the restaurant-going public. You'll be able to buy the book.

All I would have to do is round up an expert group of between 9 to 12 people who would name their three best pizzerias in their area and three more pizzerias in another area or another country. In return? A free plug in the publication for everyone who takes part.

At this stage I realised I'd heard of one of the company's other publications: Where Chefs Eat. It got a lot of publicity and was pretty successful a year or two ago.

My reaction at the time was that chefs a) don't eat outside their own restaurants b) if they do it's only very occasionally and in the restaurants of their pals. But hey what do I know? Which is pretty much the main reason why I try not to get involved in these things.