FINALLY, the bluff has been called on one of the most ridiculous trends ever to grace our wardrobes.
Not shell suits, not crop tops, not even bum bags or puffa jackets, but a far more heinous fashion carbuncle: leather trousers.
According to a new survey, they are the item women most regret buying, with almost half of those polled deriding them as their biggest style faux pas. Presumably the other 50% were simply too embarrassed to admit to even owning a pair.
I've never got the fascination with leather trousers. They are not sexy, glamorous, edgy or any of the other adjectives regularly attributed to them. Instead, they are tacky, impractical and uncomfortable.
There is not enough talcum powder or shoe horns in the world to coax me into a pair.
Years of running and cycling have moulded my thighs, if not quite to Sir Chris Hoy proportions, then not far off it. In leather trousers, my legs would be like two giant sausages squashed into a bin bag. This is not a look I'm keen to cultivate.
Mind you, men aren't immune to the horrors either. Sure, many of them are sufficiently snake-hipped to not look like an over-stuffed DFS sofa, but invariably they still get it wrong, either wearing them at half-mast, too high around the waist or with inappropriate shoes (such as the chap I saw who teamed his with brown brogues – once you see that, believe me, you can't unsee it-)
The only person who has ever looked good in leather trousers is Suzi Quatro circa 1973. Fact. And possibly Marianne Faithfull in Girl On A Motorcycle.
There should be a licence to wear leather trousers that only a) motorbike owners b) cowboys and c) Lady Gaga can apply for. Everyone else looks like they are trying too hard, going through a mid-life crisis or just plain daft.
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