HUMOUR in the independence debate continued.
No supporters argued that the latest economic figures on Scotland published yesterday showed the country couldn't go it alone. The SNP argued the figures showed the opposite. As Joanne Henry in Aberdeen commented: "If there was a new report showing that the whole Scotland has just sunk under 500,000 leagues of water, Alex Salmond would say it was good news for Scottish divers."
Key stroke
A READER tells us about his businessman pal who was complaining about the new assistant in his office. He needed a copy of his house key so he handed it to her with a fiver and asked her to get him a copy of it. He returned later in the day to find a photocopy of the key neatly placed on his desk. As she presumably pocketed the fiver we have more than a sneaking admiration for her.
Quids in
WE asked for your racing stories to mark the Cheltenham Festival, and a reader in Ayrshire tells us of a chap in Cumnock who borrowed a few quid from a friend to buy some food for the family. However, the chap who lent the money later bumped into his pal in the local bookies where he was putting on a bet. "Here you!" said the angry chap. "I thought you needed the money to go shopping?"
"I did!" his pal protested. "I've got gambling money - it was money for the food I was short of."
Dead slow
GOOD to see the outstanding vistas of Shetland on the latest series of the BBC crime drama Shetland. Not everyone was as impressed with the sedate pace of the story though. As one viewer in Glasgow commented: "So slow that I'd have to watch it again before I could be absolutely sure which one of them was the corpse."
Ringing the changes
A READER tells us he was listing all the ways his life was tougher to his teenage daughter.
He now realises that perhaps it wasn't that bad, as he ended up telling her: "In my day you had to answer the phone without knowing who it was that was calling."
Name game
DATING stories continued. A Hyndland reader says he was on a blind date which he didn't think was going well. At the end of the evening the lady asked if he wanted her phone number to get in touch again. He took out his mobile phone to put it in, but then had a sudden blank about what her name was. As he was standing there with the screen on his phone asking him to input her name, he tried the desperate trick of asking: "How do you spell your name again?"
She replied: "M.A.R.Y."
They didn't see each other again.
Net gains
IT'S the 25th anniversary of the internet. As one commentator put it: "Happy 25th Birthday Internet. Thank you for making it possible to tell everyone what I've had for dinner, and to find out how to spell diarrhoea." Any other good uses for the internet?
Plane thinking
"UNTIL I logged on to Facebook this morning," commented a chap in a west end gym yesterday, "I didn't realise so many of my friends were aviation accident investigators."
It's a steal
A COLLEAGUE wanders over to disturb our train of thought by telling us: "People say I'm a wanton plagiarist - their words, not mine."
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