JAMES Ross, aged eight, threw me an only sidelights smile last week, which was surprising because normally conversation with my little chum produces full beam.
The reason for his circumspection?
"We're almost into panto season, James," I informed my friend's fair-haired son a second earlier. And then added: "I think we may even beat last year's record of five pantos."
"Way-hay!" he replied, sardonically, clearly mocking my enthusiasm.
"It'll be great, James," I countered, trying to work up his perceived indifference into something close to vague interest. "We'll get to see almost everything in town, we'll fly from Peter Pan to Treasure Island, we'll meet Scrooge and Cinderella and Aladdin. You'll love them."
"You'll love them," he said, with a knowing look.
And that made me think; why am I such a panto slut? What is there about panto that sees me tackle the lot, taking Rent-A-Child along to each one? Well, here's the answer. It's an understanding of what they're about. Talking to actors this week about why they love panto (the money aside) each reveals it's the chance to be young again.
It's a chance to be silly and goofy, it's a chance to dress up in ridiculous costumes and all the time forget about Stamp Duty increases, Ally McCoist's precarious position, Nicola Sturgeon and global warming.
And we, the audience warm to that sensation. We get to be carried away with them as Good battles Evil on stage and watching how true love always wins out (unless of course you are Buttons, who thankfully can deal with rejection).
But talking to actors offers another dimension; you know they'll be wearing the same sweaty tights six days in a row. You know they'll be taking Day Nurse to the point of delirium in an effort to block the winter germ invaders. And there's an appreciation they'll be dragging themselves on stage for the 10am shows. And when there's an afternoon matinee, all they do afterwards is head to the dressing room, pull down their costumes and throw a microwave dinner from Asda into their face - in the hope it powers the evening performance.
Talking to actors means you know that after three weeks of a run they'll say lines and look as though they've lost the plot from a sense of deja vu. But chats with our panto stars reveal they truly love to be part of this world, to be part of a stage that once featured giants such as Stanley and Rikki and Kelly.
What's also great about panto is to see it through the eyes of a kid. You get to understand what makes them successful. You get to see that without a storyline panto is just a big, hollow variety show. You get to appreciate that small scale panto, with a cast of three and a cardboard set can be astonishingly wonderful - if it comes with a cracking script. There are lots there for adults too, not least of all the grown-up jokes.
But I can't really tell James that, of course. All I can tell him is we'll get supper at Little Italy first and ice cream at the interval.
"I love panto!" he says, in such convincing manner you can't tell if he's acting.
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