ONE of the advantages of approaching middle age is that you can move through the streets without fear of catcalls, wolf-whistles, random gropings or colourful descriptions of what men would like to do to you.
As the years go by, you almost begin to forget it ever happened. Perhaps – as happened to me recently – it even makes your day when an old guy in the station barks at you: "I wish I was still young. Because then I'd steal you."
But then the memories flood back. Or they did for me, when I started to read the catalogue of experiences on Everyday Sexism. Many of the accounts come from young women, sometimes only in their teens. And what is striking is that their experiences are not that different from those of my own youth.
They are testimonies to what it is to be young, moving through the world, and made to feel like you have taken a wrong turn, moved in the wrong way, walked down the wrong pavement, dressed wrongly. They remind us what it's like to be constantly aware of the possibility of a threat or unwanted comment from somewhere.
As a teenager I remember being called an "ugly cow" one day, and "nice t**s" another. I didn't know what to do, in my head, with either. The girls posting on this website get called a lot worse.
Not much, it turns out, has changed since Simone de Beauvoir wrote in The Second Sex that "masculine desire is as much an offence as a compliment". Sometimes, being shouted at in the street feels like being given a random punch in the face. For me it almost was, once, when a man walked past and grasped hold of my breast, then kept walking on while I was left wondering what had happened or where that had come from.
Everyday Sexism founder Laura Bates has expressed shock at how many submissions have come from teenage girls. On the site's discussion threads, many women confirm they received most harassment during their teens.
On Everyday Sexism there are many genuinely shocking tales, some of which verge on rape. But what is striking is the frequency of some of the most benign-seeming sexisms, such as: "Smile, love, it might never happen." This issue is not just about foul language and physical threat, it's about power play. When I was a very young woman, it didn't really enter my head that there was anything sexist about this irritating one-liner. But on this website, it is defined for what it is: everyday sexism.
Indeed, it is encouraging to hear all these young women denouncing such insults in a way that perhaps previous generations failed to do as we attempted to ignore it all and get on in the world.
The fraction of men who do these things is relatively small. Many don't do this. Many out there try not to join in when others start. Many find the comments just as excruciating to hear as women.
But clearly, men are what is needed to shift this culture. We need to teach young boys what is acceptable and what isn't. I have two sons. They are only three and five years old, but already I see them absorbing a culture that teaches them this demeaning approach to women is OK.
They chant the lines of Gangnam Style, "Hey Sexy Lady", and it feels like they are parroting a catcall. Then I look at the YouTube video for Psy's new single, Gentleman, and I have to switch off, because it seems like one long mockery of women. In Benny Hill style, Psy is shown plucking a woman's bikini tie-string so her top falls off. Then he pulls a chair out from under the bottom of another woman. All this may be ironic, but no-one in my family appears to be reading it as such.
Of course, men too can sometimes be made to feel bad. Perhaps they decide to flirt with a woman, misjudge the situation and get it all wrong. Reading the testimonies on Everyday Sexism, I sometimes find myself having sympathy for their cack-handedness. But most of all, I wish that our culture had never taught them this was a right and good way to be a man.
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