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It's tweet dreams from real Twits

LATE last week, skimming through Twitter - it does tend to be considerably more interesting than everyday work - I came across a tweet from Alistair Darling.

"It is Friday," it read. "After a YES, will Friday be the start of the weekend? Will we get a weekend? What order will days occur? Too much uncertainty."

Excitedly scenting an exclusive - the leader of the Better Together campaign seriously implying that the Edinburgh government in a post-independence Scotland might interfere with the running order of the actual days - I printed it off and dashed towards the newsdesk.

The news editor took one look at the print-out and threw it into his wastepaper basket. He sighed.

"What is it with you feature writers," he said crossly, "that you're congenitally incapable of distinguishing between a parody Twitter account and the real thing?"

Back at the cluttered nightmare that passes for my desk, I glanced at the Darling account and realised it was, indeed, a parody.

I then looked again at various people I follow on Twitter. I am not sure if any of the following tweets are genuine. Despite the news editor's admonition, my instinct is they are 100% real. Absolutely. Probably.

l @gary_barlow: Sorry guys. Caught bang to rights in that tax matter. Doing the decent thing, returning OBE in the post tomorrow.

l @david_cameron: Just like to make clear my backing for @garybarlow not returning OBE has nothing to do with his support for Conservative Party.

l @josemourinho: Congrats to Man City on winning league. Apologies for my attention-seeking, stroppy, pouting behaviour. No more next year. Promise.

l @bettertogether: Exclusive new research reveals Scotland's weather will worsen after Yes vote - storms, floods, no sunshine, pestilence, plague.

l @kimkardashian: Have decided to cut back on tiresome publicity. Pretty sure you guys must all be sick of me by now! #Nomoreselfies

l @rangersFC: Roll on next season! Glad the behind-the-scenes turmoil has finally disappeared and that the fans are happy to buy season tickets.

l @donald_trump: All my new Turnberry golf resort needs now is a nice big offshore windfarm. Any takers?

l @nigel_farage: Right, that's me off the booze for at least a month. These sociable pints are really killing me.

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