It's been a good week for ...

polar bears

THE only polar bear on public display in the UK has a new playmate. Arktos has come from Hannover Zoo in Germany to join Walker at Highland Wildlife Park in Inverness-shire.

It wasn't quite the fanfare that his Chinese panda cousins received, but Arktos lapped up the publicity on arriving in Scotland, rolling around in the snow and gnawing on a hard hat. Cuddly, he is not – you would not mess with this bear. The clue's in the Bond-villain name.

It is hoped that he and Walker will soon be pals.

Douglas Richardson, animal collection manager at the park, said: "Arktos is a little older than Walker and slightly bigger but we have high hopes that the playful bear duo will get on with each other when they are eventually introduced. Male immature polar bears tend to respond well to each other and it will be great if they do as Walker desperately needs a wrestling partner." He also pointed out that "introducing two large carnivores is always a tense and delicate procedure".

So it's all bear testosterone over in Inverness-shire. Park bosses hope to find a female breeding partner for the two males, who will not be sexually mature for another few years.

But you can't help but assume that the macho pair will be up to the task.

It's been a bad week for ...

panda bears

In contrast, the underperforming bears over in Edinburgh haven't been quite so robust. The 36-hour mating window, eagerly anticipated by everyone except, it seems, the pandas, closed with Edinburgh Zoo announcing that they had failed to mate. The pair showed interest in each other and wrestled "a lot", but there will be no cubs this year.

Officials had hoped to bring the pandas together for one last attempt but Tian Tian's hormone levels were just too low. Or maybe those molly-coddled pandas are just too comfortable. They must know by now that they're on to a good thing. Cubs might just spoil the party. Much better to keep stringing along those gullible Scots while enjoying five-star luxury.

Perhaps it's about time Tian Tian (meaning Sweetie) and Yang Guang (meaning Sunshine) were kicked out in the snow to toughen up. A trip to Inverness-shire to meet Arktos (meaning Real Bear) might be a good idea.