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Military operation in the morning

SO viewers tuning in to the newly launched Good Morning Britain show have been complaining at not being able to see the legs of presenter Susanna Reid because she is sitting behind a desk.

Aside from the utterly depressing misogynistic undercurrent of this story, it does raise a question in my mind.

Who are these people who have time, not only to ponder the intricacies of morning television and compare and contrast the sartorial choices of its presenters, but also to communicate their views to the world via social media?

In my home, preparing to leave the house in the morning is a military operation in which every single minute is accounted for.

T minus 60. Up. Shower. Go to make coffee.

T minus 48. Respond to the wake up call of one year old son.

T minus 35. Attempt to apply makeup whilst supervising munchkin eating porridge.

T minus 33. Intervene as one year old pelts dog with handfuls of said porridge. Go to make that coffee.

T minus 26. Administer replacement toast to munchkin.

T minus 21. Find dog licking his chops. Notice toast crumbs on snout. Administer replacement toast to munchkin.

T minus 16. Locate coat, bag, phone, shoes from, literally, far flung locations around the house.

T minus 14. Find dog licking his chops. Toast crumbs observed. Administe satsuma to munchkin.

T minus 13. Put dog out in garden.

T minus five. Persuade munchkin into jacket and shoes.

T minus two. Persuade munchkin to drop the dog biscuit he has extracted from cardboard box in cupboard. Acknowledge that, yes, Mac does owe you big time.

T minus one. Consider eating spoonful of coffee granules. Quickly reconsider.

T minus zero. Where in God's name is my car key?? Cue, heated discussion of last known location of key.

T plus six. Munchkin secured in car seat. Ready for take off.

T plus seven. Emergency. We have a nappy situation. All back in.

T plus 11. Ready for take off. Realise dog still out in back garden.

T plus 50. Arrive at desk, smooth as you like. Get that coffee.

T plus 180. Glance in mirror. Make devastating discovery that make-up has only been applied to one half of face, resulting in bad pastiche of Alex from The Clockwork Orange.

Contextual targeting label: 
Automotive

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