It's been a good week for ...
pies
News that Greggs the bakers had dropped their macaroni pie sparked a backlash among fans and prompted a pie-tition calling for its reinstatement on the culinary landscape. Greggs say the pies were discontinued in favour of more sophisticated dishes, such as Mediterranean pork rolls and green Thai chicken lattice.
But how are they going to work when washed down with Irn-Bru? For double-carb-in-a-oner aficionados, there's still the roll and tattie scone, or the roll and chips. But the pasta-pastry combo is hard to match.
The petition's founder later said the stunt had been a "social media experiment" rather than a serious campaign. But not before Scotland's politicians had weighed in to the debate, with the macaroni pie a hot topic in the chamber.
It's good to know that when the lid is lifted on a scandal, our MSPs are on the case and will step up to the plate.
It's been a bad week for ... tight breeks
Doctors have issued a health warning on skinny jeans, after a 35-year-old woman had to be cut out of a pair when her calves ballooned. The Australian had spent hours squatting to empty cupboards for a house flit. By evening, her feet were numb and she found it hard to walk. Doctors say the jeans can damage muscles and nerves.
I doubt the fashion-conscious will be put off. Spray-on jeans were all the rage during my teens. Whether you were a skelf or resembled the back end of the 119, skin-tight troosers were a must.
I recall a particularly alluring pair in pale turquoise, which complemented perfectly my 119-esque proportions. The zipping of them required lying flat on the floor and employing the help of a coathanger hooked through the zipper for extra pulling purchase. Once zipped in, returning to the vertical was a challenge, but determination usually won through. When the inevitable occurred and the zip eventually broke, I was undeterred. A shoelace was found, holes were made and I laced myself in.
I'm sure it was a great look.
So has wisdom prevailed over the ensuing years? Will you catch me struggling into a pair of skinny jeans?
Fat chance. You're more likely to find me seeking out a macaroni pie.
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