It's been a good week for .
. . Pastafarianism
Yes, that’s Pastafarianism, with a P. The atheist “religion”, which states that its only dogma is the rejection of dogma, took another bold stride towards global recognition last week.
Pastafarians are members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted faith based in the US. Naturally.
Avid follower Nico Alm, an Austrian, couldn’t contain his delight on discovering that his homeland permitted religious headgear in official photographs.
Keen to advance his cause, he donned his well-used pasta sieve – a requirement of his religion, as he explained – and headed for the nearest photo booth.
Following a three-year tussle with authorities, Alm is now the proud owner of a shiny new driving licence bearing a photograph of him solemnly sporting the aforementioned kitchen implement.
Po-faced officials are playing down the episode, saying the picture was permitted, not on religious grounds, but because his whole face was visible – the only criterion which must be met.
Giddy with success, however, Mr Alm is now stepping up his campaign to have the Pastafarian faith officially recognised in Austria, while simultaneously breathing new life into the phrase “off his noodle”.
It’s been a bad week for ...
Oldies are in revolt. Having simmered for years, they have finally been pushed to the edge. What prompted this outrage? The relentless tide of clingy, unsubstantial, midriff-skimming garments which they claim dominate the aisles of their erstwhile favourite shop, Marks & Spencer.
Where once there were well-cut, stylish togs which left much to the imagination, now there are only scanty threads for the young. Last week, executives at the M&S AGM felt the full force of the outrage when two heckling pensioners took to the floor on behalf of all women of a certain age.
The 2000-strong crowd went wild when Hilary Roodyn, 75, and her 80-year-old chum Helen Garfield told directors they were “missing a trick” in sidelining older customers and that they didn’t want to resemble “mutton dressed as lamb”. They wield the mighty grey pound, they argued, but struggle to find anything worth buying.
Sources close to the protesters hint that the next step is direct action. “What do we want? Modest necklines, decent hemlines and covered upper arms. When do we want it? Now!”
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