Prize moments on the long trail to our day of destiny

The Lazarus Award For Most Impressive Comeback

Early on, a contender for this prize might have been Alistair Darling, the one-time Chancellor Of The Exchequer who stepped back into the kitchen by taking on the job of heading Better Together. Equally, it could have gone to First Minister Alex Salmond for performing like a chump in the first televised debate, only to return like Rocky Marciano in the second. But the clear winner is Gordon Brown, whose speeches in the last few days left one wondering, not for the first time, why the former PM had not been the No leader from the start.

The YSL Touche Eclat Trophy For Best Make-Up:

Quite a few male politicians were in the running for this one. Since the UK and Scottish governments signed the Edinburgh Agreement in 2012, signalling the official start of the referendum process, politicians on all sides (except those from Westminster) have been working flat out. Politics suddenly became, horror of horrors, the kind of full-time job at which their constituents slogged. Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon is no slouch, but even she has excelled herself by appearing to be in 15 places at once, always poised, make-up intact. One would call it an almost Thatcheresque attention to appearance if that would not cause offence.

The Tin Hat For Services To Journalism

The past week has seen the migration north of that lesser-spotted bird called the London journalist, and he/she has not always appreciated the environment. Alex Thomson, of Channel 4 News, has been among the minority in praising the atmosphere, but ITN's Tom Bradby reported that "the level of abuse and even intimidation being meted out by some in the Yes campaign was making this referendum a rather unpleasant experience". The BBC's political editor, Nick Robinson, took the most pelters, and was the cause of a demo outside the corporation's Scottish HQ. Whatever the rights and wrongs, it all looked ugly. A prize to Robinson for keeping the heid while others lost theirs.

The Silk Whoopee Cushion For Most Embarrassing Intervention

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un came in late and strong by letting it be known he was in favour of Scotland going it alone. In close contention was SNP legend Jim Sillars for promising a day of reckoning/plague of frogs/hail of locusts for those business leaders who claimed prices would have to go up in an independent Scotland. The cheekiest move, however, came from Nick Clegg, who rather spoiled Westminster's love-bombing by saying on his radio show that of course the voting rights of Scottish MPs would have to be looked at if new powers came Scotland's way. As is often the case with the LibDems' leader, few were paying attention, but he gets the cushion anyway.

Hat Of The Decade

Not to be confused with the tin hat award, this prize goes to the wearer of the campaign's most fabulous titfer. Step forward George Galloway, MP and indefatigable No campaigner. Appearing on the panel at the SSE Hydro debate for young voters in Glasgow, the object perched on Mr Galloway's napper was the cause of much hilarity, with one teen tweeting, "OMG, George Galloway is LITERALLY wearing a fedora!", and another pointing out that "Galloway has jumped the shark in a big hat". Scottish education: ye cannae whack it (not now the law has been changed anyway). For the fashion equivalent of dad disco dancing, the award goes to Mr G.

The Christmas Eve, Ill-Fitting Lingerie Prize For Last-Minute Gift

We have all been there. You have known for ages that Christmas and the referendum vote were coming, but there was just too much else going on to get that special something for the ones you purportedly love. Then bang, the eve of the vote, and there it is in the headlines: YES TAKES POLL LEAD. Better get to the shops quick and grab whatever extra powers you can. Never mind that it was someone else's idea, or the package is more half-baked than a soggy bottomed sponge on Bake Off, it is the thought that counts.

The Charles Dickens Statuette For Novelistic Invention

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for civil servants. Asked to present the case for independence and the Union, the Bob Cratchits of the political classes came up with Scotland's Future, as penned in Edinburgh, and a raft of UK Government papers, written in London, SW1. Despite the time and expense expended, publication only led to more arguments as each side rushed to rubbish their opponents' efforts. Time will tell if only the works of the Brothers Grimm could have been less in touch with reality. For now, the award is shared by Sir Humphrys north and south of the Border.

Celebrity Neb-Poke Of The Year

Wimbledon champion Andy Murray took this to a tie break yesterday with his "Let's do this!" tweet, but it was David Bowie who got the party started with his "Scotland, stay with us" message at the Brits. No sooner had the Yes camp countered this with support from Alan Cumming, Brian Cox, Frankie Boyle et al, than JK Rowling added her tuppence worth, plus a £1 million donation to Better Together. Voters have remained unimpressed, preferring to make their own minds up and leaving the high-kicking, singing, novel writing and assorted other 'sleb endeavours to the luvvies.

The Alan Partridge "And On That Bombshell" Gong

Perhaps because the campaign has gone on for so long (Adam and Eve had some awful rows about currency union), there have been few truly red-letter days. Chief among them was the morning in February when the Chancellor, George Osborne, came to Edinburgh to declare that "If Scotland walks away from the UK, it walks away from the UK pound". Though the Yes camp hit back with, "It's Scotland's pound as well", and the polls appeared to show voters thought Mr Osborne was bluffing, the move set the tone for the rest of the campaign. The fight was going to get brutal before it was over.

The Class Act Award

Our final prize goes to those who have tried valiantly to stay above the fray. Mrs Betty Windsor is warmly commended for her, "I hope everybody thinks very carefully about the referendum this week" message, which was a tad more measured than Vivienne Westwood's "I hate England" intervention. But the award goes to the Scottish public, for weathering a campaigning storm without compare, for displaying infinite patience with every political numptie who crossed their paths, and for turning out yesterday. Well done everybody, well done.