PUBLIC marriage proposals: a form of emotional abuse.

Is anyone with me? Oh, probably not.

I always wonder why, when you are an adult woman, and you are in a relationship with an adult man, it's not sufficient for one of you to say to the other, in the privacy of your own home and at your leisure, "It might make good financial and legal sense to sign a contract meaning we get half of each others' cash when we break up."

It might not be romantic but there's certainly something sexy about a bit of clear-eyed pragmatism.

I have heard otherwise normal and intelligent women talk of how they refused to take part in their boyfriend's favourite hobby, hillwalking, "unless there was a diamond at the top" or how they spent a whole holiday in the huff because they assumed this trip would be The Trip and it wasn't.

These woman are not swiftly dumped, as they should be, but are married and responsible for the perpetuation of every cliche of women being stroppy, diamond-hungry harpies.

It is not enough to take a woman out for dinner, give her some flowers and bend on one knee. There has to be a flashmob, the stopping of foot traffic in major shopping centres on Bank Holiday weekends and a professional videographer to record the whole thing. You might even bring a football stadium to a stop, if you don't have enough friends or money to arrange 40 singers bleating Stevie Wonder outside the poor woman's place of work.

One Matthew Dick, from London, has managed to tread a fine line between "proposal in the privacy of your own home" and "ostentatiously making sure the whole world knows I'm a big gestures guy."

Mr Dick somehow persuaded one of The Times newspaper's cryptic crossword cruciverbalists to create a bespoke crossword that would convey his desire to put a ring on it. Her. Put a ring on her.

Blithely disregarding the opinions and desire of the regular crossword enthusiasts who take The Times, lovestricken Mr Dick was initially perturbed that his sweetheart, Delyth Hughes, said no but was quickly relieved to find her joking. Of the proposal, Ms Hughes said it was a "typical" gesture from her boyfriend who is "a smart-arse at the best of times".

To go back to the emotional abuse: what of the women who are not expecting such spectacles? Who aren't sure how they feel about this man and this relationship but feel press-ganged into saying "yes" because they're on the screen of a 40,000-seater arena?

More than that: what about the emotional equilibrium of the poor bystanders who have to suffer the inward cringe of waiting to see whether the lady races off in tears or whether she's daft enough to enjoy having rudely interrupted the goings-ons of several dozen strangers?

Still, I'm heartened by the final words of Mr Rogan. "We won't be doing it again," he said. Men of the world: take note.