Just when you think Dame Helen Mirren could be held in no higher esteem does she not appear on a Soho street dressed as the Queen to tell a noisy band to pipe down.
It wasn't bagpipers (unfortunately for us Scottish journalists who like to put a kilt on stories) but a bunch of dancing drummers who had taken to the streets to promote a music festival.
They stopped to give a prolonged exposition of their skills outside the stage door of the Geilguid Theatre. With the result that Dame Helen's performance as the Queen in the play The Audience was all but drowned out by the thud of the drums. Her Majesty exited the stage and came on to the street to command silence. There was an amount of regal effing and blinding involved.
Dame Helen said: "I'm afraid there were a few 'thespian' words used - but I have to say they were very sweet and they stopped immediately. I felt rotten but something had to be done."
She is to be admired for her fabulous acting, her intellectual rigour and her disregard for narrow-minded obsequiousness. It is difficult also to ignore the fact she is one of the most sensuous women on earth.
I was lucky enough to be stalked by her one evening on the set of Charlie Gormley's Heavenly Pursuits. It involved sex on The Herald's library table and a glass of wine later down in the pub.
We never actually spoke. While pursuing my duties as a reporter I was trapped in the library and had to watch while Dame Helen and some bloke called Tom Conti acted out some amorous moments.
Then I was minding my own business having a pint during my tea break when she stood beside me at the bar. Totally ignored me as she had a drink with the Conti fellow.
I manage to purloin the wine she leaves behind, keeping the glass as a souvenir. But only for one day. ("So let me get this right," said Her Indoors. "This wine glass cannot be washed and you're keeping it because some other woman drank from it." Cue sound of breaking glass.)
But I have digressed from the topic of Dame Helen and her intervention against noisy bands. Don't suppose she is available in July to come up to Glasgow during the marching season.
Dressed as Her Majesty the Queen, she might persuade her loyal subjects to go play their flutes and drums elsewhere and leave the rest of us to enjoy the streets in peace.
on ...
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article