It's been a good week for ...

minimalism

For decades, conceptual artists have been pussyfooting around the edges of minimalism. Trimming a bit here, removing an element there, but always shying away from truly embracing the concept. Now, at last, a bold new exhibition has taken the bull by the horns in a breathtaking Emperor's New Clothes moment.

Invisible: Art About The Unseen 1957-2012, which launched at London's Hayward gallery last week, features 50 invisible works by artists including Yoko Ono and Andy Warhol. Yes, that's right, rational adults are expected to queue up and hand over eight British pounds in exchange for a whole lot of nothing. I jest. Even the boldest curator wouldn't seriously charge for absolutely nothing. No, exhibits include a piece of white paper which has been stared at by one artist, a blank pedestal briefly stepped upon by another and some air punched by a third when he realised he was on to a good thing.

Tune in next week for my invisible column. Usual fee applies, of course.

It's been a bad week for ... performing parents

It's the thought of all the time and energy wasted over the years that's the real killer. Parents have just learned that hours spent leaping around the kitchen making "aeroplanes" with mashed veg to entice their tots to eat well, and engaging in protracted dinner-time bartering to make teenagers eat their greens in exchange for freedom/pudding/TV, may have been a colossal waste of time. According to new research published in the British Journal of Developmental Psychology, the best way to encourage your children to chow down on the healthy stuff is to eat your own vegetables while beaming with pleasure. A heartfelt smile while chewing broccoli is all that is required to convince the little 'uns that they are missing out on something good.

Is this news? Smiling has always been the advertising man's weapon of choice. For decades, ad gurus have been teaming the most hideous products with a dazzling smile with impressive results. How else do you explain the success of Marmite?