It's been a good week for - planning for the end of the world

In times of uncertainty, the world of celebrity can provide some useful cues on how to behave.

As we approach the final day of the Mayan calendar on December 21, how to prepare for impending doom?

Radiohead, a band which has always been sensitive to the cruel realities of life, wasted no time in actioning plan A.

Guitarist Jonny Greenwood has allegedly headed for the hills of San Paolo and is holed up in a self-sufficient guest house as he serenely awaits the arrival of his fellow band members, followed by Armageddon.

So look to your loved ones, book that caravan in Largs and soak up those last moments together.

Bear in mind, however, that if December 22 dawns bright and beautiful, you will have precisely three days left to do all your Christmas shopping. Excuses about the end of the world will not cut it as you sheepishly hand over your petrol station gifts.

It's been a bad week for- politicians looking cool

To Downing Street, for a truly toe-curling tale of a powerful man flailing in the face of beauty.

It was an awkward clash of cultures as David Cameron posed on the steps of Number 10 alongside the X Factor finalists and their glamorous mentor, Nicole Scherzinger.

In an effort to illustrate that we're all in this together, the Prime Minister presided over the most lacklustre Christmas lights switch-on in the northern hemisphere. Following a dramatic countdown, 13 undersized Christmas tree lights glowed dimly and the trio of starlets gave a festive a cappella rendition which neatly demonstrated why backing tracks are everything in pop.

In the ensuing wave of good cheer, social barriers came crashing down, hands were outstretched and a cultural chasm closed. In an unguarded moment of giddiness, Cameron, like the ultimate Naff Dad, was heard to utter the word "Shamazing" to former Pussycat Doll Scherzinger.

She seemed a tad less starstruck. "We met David Cameron, who I am just realising is not Tony Blair," she purred. Somewhere, close by, a leader gently weeps.