I LIKE to think my early career in uniform set me up pretty well for later life.
I'm prepared, I'm pretty sure my anchor will hold, and I'm ready for take-off.
When I was growing up - a task I hope to complete shortly - I was signed up by my parents for tours of duty in several branches of the unarmed forces. I was, in chronological order, a Cub Scout, a Life Boy, in the BB and - I still shake my head at this - a member of the Air Training Corps.
My abiding memories of my spell in the Cubs are a) practising tying knots in your shoelaces brought nothing but trouble; and b) throwing bean bags wasn't half the fun the grown-ups made it out to be.
When it came to fun with throwing things, that's when the Life Boys came into their own. Part of the standard-issue kit was a round, Navy-style cap. To a six-year-old besotted with the carnage wrought by Bond villain Oddjob and his skimming, sharpened, steel-brimmed bowler hat, this was just asking for trouble. My parents could never understand how I managed to come home with my hat soaking wet on the inside.
Uniform-wise, the BB was an unmitigated disaster; there were bits of that kit (haversack and strap) that had to be kept white, for heaven's sake. You might as well tell a duck to keep its feet dry.
There was a similar problem with the Air Training Corps, or ATC, as we regulars called it; in this case it was tackety boots that were supposed to be kept black and gleaming. That would have been fine, if you hadn't also been expected to wear the blasted things. A 13-year-old boy, the outside elements and a clean pair of boots are guaranteed to have the most transient of relationships.
I never made it to the Scouts, which is a shame. I might have enjoyed going for all those badges; there's one that looks like it's for consuming a poke of chips. (Update: I've just been told the symbol is actually an Olympic-style flaming torch, and it's the Sports Enthusiast Activity Badge.)
The Scout Association, bless them, have just widened the scope by announcing a new set of badges. Youngsters will soon be able to get badges in such disparate activities as gardening, air and sea navigation, fundraising and, believe it or not, media relations.
Oh, to be a kid again. It seems you can get a Communicator badge if you can spell your name in semaphore or Morse code, and can send an email or text message. That's got to be easier than trying to keep your boots clean.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article