This is in the nature of a confession.
Dear reader, I still shop at Tesco. Am I the only one? You'd think so after the company announced record losses yesterday (a mere £6.4bn, the sixth biggest annual loss in UK corporate history but a mere bagatelle beside the Royal Bank of Scotland's £24.1bn in 2008. If you're going to do something wrong ... )
Every little helps of course (why does that phrase sound familiar?), but clearly my weekly trips to stock up on Jordan's Museli and cat litter have not been enough.
My Tesco habit is not out of brand loyalty, I should point out. I bitch and moan about the supermarket chain as much as the next Tesco loyalty card holder. Still not paying the Living Wage? Disgraceful, even if you are losing money. I bet chairman Tom Allen isn't mooching along on £6.70 an hour.
No, it's more inertia. I know which aisle they keep the Loyd Grossman pasta sauce in and that's enough. I don't want to have to think about what I'm going to buy. And so I haven't had a wee cheeky fling with Aldi on the side like so many. Brazen, the lot of you.
All this means, though, is that I am, in shopping terms, clearly a dinosaur. Or, if not quite extinct, certainly an endangered species. An African rhino amidst the fresh fruit and veg bins. Still doing the big weekly shop rather than mixing and matching and being one of those clever consumers the government tells us we should all be.
On average shoppers now visit four different supermarkets each month. Really? How can they be bothered? Personally I get annoyed when my local Tesco moves items around. It ruins my-get-in-and-out-as-quick-as-possible strategy.
That's clearly where I am going wrong. Other shoppers know they can shop around for bargains. Some analysts are even suggesting the big four supermarkets will wither and shrivel up in the years to come as we all become ever more promiscuous in our shopping habits.
I say all, but I'm probably too old to change my routine now. And so after this latest news I now have a vision of the possible future where I am wondering through a dusty, deserted Tesco, pushing a wonky-wheeled trolley in front of me, trying to find food that is still within its sell-by date. I imagine the scene will resemble a zombie movie that's just missing the shuffling, groaning undead looking for three-for-two human specials in the refrigerated meat section.
They're all probably be round the corner in Lidl.
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