As part of the year of Creative Scotland we are to have a series of events by and for codgers.

Luminate is described as "Scotland's creative ageing festival".

It will feature Risky Rhythms, a septuagenarian female rock band from Finland. And Libby McArthur from River City in a drama about turning 50, even though she doesn't look a day over 29 and three-quarters.

I could propose a few other events which might go down well in Luminate in October.

Summer Holiday, the Bus-Pass Musical, where a happy-go-lucky gang of octogenarians sing their way around the Athens of the north, in a double bill with Tram! – pensioners remember what Edinburgh was like before the roads got dug up.

The Voltarol Theatre Company presents Creak! – a promenade piece for zimmers and comfortable slippers.

Whose Turn Is It For The Teeth? An affectionate look at how people coped in times of austerity. Sponsored by Steradent.

The Viagra Monologues and Puppetry Of The Prostate. Both productions fresh from success at the Edinburgh Fringe.

Flasks And Pieces: A retrospective on the packed lunches of Glasgow shipyard workers, from the roll and corned beef to brie and apple bruschetta, from the billy-can to the Thermos and beyond. It examines the myth of the welder who got a 13-week sick line because of a broken flask.

The Scone Of Stone: a theatrical memoir of a woman whose home baking was so problematic her husband used to say: Do you want a hand lifting that?

The SWRI Murders: a docu-drama about a serial killer who hid victims' bodies in floral arrangements and won first prize for most parts of a corpse in a matchbox.

Hip-Op Speed Dating: a chance for oldies to discuss operations and make new friends for companionship and perhaps more. (See also Viagra Monologues and Puppetry Of The Prostate.)