AND what is the point of a princess?
I have to ask because, after much pondering, I still can't work it out for myself.
Don't get me wrong, I cooed with the best of them over wee Princess Charlotte and was greatly impressed by her nap ability in the face of shrieking Royalists and hooting media. She looked fairly chill, all out in the world with her nose and her eyes and her ears and her yellow bonnet.
I was particularly impressed by the yellow bonnet. It could be that her mum and dad didn't know what variety she'd emerge as and so plumped for yellow as a safe option.
But I hope the Earl and Countess of Strathearn were making a statement - that our newest princess isn't going to be raised in a puddle of passive pink. The bub had only been in the world but hours before Tower Bridge and the London Eye went pink in tribute.
Worse, the marketing gears began to grind and before long social media was chockablock with merchandise for Little Princesses.
Anti-pinkification isn't new, protests against companies that segregate their toy selections along gender lines (Asda: your Little Princess and Little Hero ranges - we're looking at you) are not new but I rarely hear anyone railing against the princessification of girls - and women.
In the year from Disney's Frozen being released in US cinemas, the company sold more than three million princess dresses - $150m worth. As a brand, the Disney Princesses have generated billions of dollars in sales; £3b in 2011 alone.
Every little girl wants to be a princess, all little girls are told they're princesses. You see wee ladies trotting about the supermarket in princess frocks and frou frou trimmed kitten heels, balancing tiaras on their tiny heads.
A princess is purposeless. She doesn't rule, she's not a queen. She's helpless and passive and pretty. She must be pretty. Who wants to train their daughter that passive, pointless, prettiness is aspirational?
Princesses are for waiting around. Waiting to be married, waiting for their forebears to die so they might be promoted.
A princess is the human equivalent of a blancmange: pink, insubstantial, pointless.
Princessification doesn't end at the start of adulthood. Plenty of women still expect a man to earn more than them, still assume the man will pay for them. Countless time you'll hear a woman told, "You deserve a man who treats you like a princess." What, helpless, spiritless and a financial leech? Charming.
How about, "You deserve a man who treats you like an equal." At least that's aspirational.
And these women who want to be a princess on their wedding day? A woman who wants to dress like a princess, be treated like a princess, on the day of her wedding probably shouldn't be getting married - she should be concentrating on growing up.
Why, when we have access to a world of education and opportunity, when we have access to the world, would parents want to dress their daughters in a frilly frock and tell them they're a special princess? Which princesses do we have to inspire us? Eugenie and Beatrice, who enjoy a host of holidays and live off daddy's dime? At least Princes William and Harry have their army careers, have action and direction.
Charlotte is our first royal princess in 25 years. Wouldn't it be ironic if she ushered in a reign of change - a princess in yellow, a princess with a career. A princess for whom being a princess is only the beginning, an unhelpful setback, and who aspires to be something much better than that.
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