DON'T get confused, this ain't hell, today they're pickin' banjos in heaven as well.
Of course, I don't know if that statement is factually accurate, but I wanted to put the sentiment out there anyway. One of my own, dontcha know.
It seemed to fit the mood of the moment, after hearing about the death of songwriter Paul Craft, pictured. He may not be a household name, but you have probably heard at least one of his songs.
Craft, 76, who died at the weekend, was inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame earlier this month. His work has been recorded by such luminaries as Willie Nelson and The Eagles.
Possibly his most famous song, nominated for a Grammy, was recorded by Bobby Bare: Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life). It contains the immortal couplet, "Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights / Drop kick me Jesus, through the goalposts of life".
There's a lot of humour in Country and Western music, an art form which is too often - and wrongly - associated with misery (for every "Please, Daddy, don't get drunk this Christmas, I don't want to see my mommy cry", there's an "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?").
The daddy of them all is probably Shel Silverstein's A Boy Named Sue, made famous by Johnny Cash. You've got to love a lyricist who can come up with such poetic gold as "Some gal would giggle and I'd get red / And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head / I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue".
One of my personal favourites is Billy Currington's Pretty Good at Drinkin' Beer, which topped the Billboard country chart.
It could well have been written with yours truly in mind: "I ain't much for mowin' thick grass / I'm too slow for workin' too fast / I don't do windows so honey don't ask / But I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer."
As you might have divined from the opening sentence, I have long held a secret ambition to write a Country song. There's probably good money in it.
Maybe I could take a leaf out of Paul Craft's book. I'm not big on American football, though ... would proper soccerball work?
Perhaps something along the lines of "I met her at the footie / an auburn-haired beauty / I thought we could have been class / but was shocked when she said she would pass"?
I know, I know. Don't call us, we'll call you.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article