So it seems "out of office" isn't good enough.
It just doesn't cover for when you're not there at all. For when you've gone, permanently.
We don't just mean a holiday here, or a new job. We mean when you're not there at all. When you're not anywhere in fact. Ever. Permanently. Which, sorry to repeat myself, is like "ever" in this context, only more so.
You can't just put up "out of office" and keel over and expect everyone to sort things out. What happens to all your digital baggage – your version of Gangnam at the office party; the footage of your daughter's wedding; your pictures of the decree nisi meeting at the solicitors (a strange event to record admittedly, but you never know when these things may be useful)?
Who's going to look after all of this? Step forward those helpful folk at Google. They've developed something called Inactive Account Manager to help you plan your digital afterlife. Yes, I know what you're thinking. "We had an inactive account manager at our place once. Useless, he was. Got the car clamped in his first week -"
It seems that when the medical Ctrl Alt Delete has taken place and all your bodily functions have shut down (no wait, I'm "hibernating". Look, you can see the little bars going across. Boot me up, boot me up!), you can nominate someone to receive your emails, G-Mails, Google Circles, Google Voice and all the other myriad digital flotsam and jetsam you rashly signed up to (why do we do this?).
You might even be able to have all this re-routed to your coffin, since a wi-fi enabled casket can't be far away now. Or possibly sent to your Google Glasses if you're buried wearing them.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today -"
"Sorry Reverend. The coffin's vibrating. I think Dad's got a text coming in. Do you want to let him take it before you go on?"
It's like an online will by the sounds of it. "Great. Dad's left me his Spam folder."
Also, it could lend itself to all sorts of digital revenge.
You die and the next day your boss receives a note saying: "You will be glad to know I'm no longer around. You may be less glad to know that you'll be receiving all my emails for the next 10 years."
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