It's been a good week for ...
the Women's Institute
Better known for their scones and homemade jam, a Somerset WI group is branching out into the realms of fiction steamier than their kitchens and hotter than your average Aga.
Fired up by Fifty Shades Of Grey, the ladies of Wellington WI have published their own erotic novel.
Calling themselves the Monumental Women's Writing Group, they put together a compilation of their own short stories to raise funds for a cancer charity. The collection includes the usual mix of poems and crime, horror and autobiographical fiction. But the ultimate story is a raunchy tale that would have even Fifty Shades author EL James getting hot under the collar.
Titled The Conquering Gibraltarian Adonis, it comes with a warning to readers: "Read no further if you are of a delicate disposition ..."
Various crimes are committed in the story - mostly against the written word. There's also a raunchy romp on a kitchen worktop, which can't be good in terms of food hygiene. I do hope the good ladies of the WI gave their oaken counters a good wipe down before undertaking their next batch of empire biscuits.
Still, why shouldn't the mature membership of the WI get a slice of the Fifty Shades action? In my local library recently, a very prim woman of advanced years asked the librarian if "that fifty things book" was available to borrow, as all her friends had recommended it.
My gran would certainly have been at the front of the lending queue, having been a life-long fan of Mills And Boon. If there was a bodice being ripped or a bosom heaving, she wanted to know about it.
She also made a mean empire biscuit.
It's been a bad week for ... picture editors
Strange goings-on with the BBC website this (Friday) morning. One of the top stories concerns ovarian cancer linked to HRT, a serious topic but one that is difficult to illustrate.
My sympathy is with the poor picture editor who has obviously been jumping through various photographic hoops to find the right generic image of a post-menopausal woman looking concerned but not too miserable.
Generic image number one (grey-haired woman looking anxious and drawn) was hastily replaced by another stock pic (grey-haired woman looking rather too happy). This was then taken down in favour of brown-haired woman (obviously dyed) looking thoughtful.
Fifty shades of grey must be the order of the day.
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