SIR Robert Walpole bred ferrets.

Pitt the Younger had a pash for rubbing brass, Disraeli and Gladstone enjoyed clandestine games of skittles, Chamberlain did card tricks, while Churchill was known to do a mean George Formby impression on the quiet.

Or perhaps not. We will never know since none of the aforementioned political leaders ever gave the sort of interview Ed Miliband conferred on an English newspaper this week.

Accompanied by photographs showing the Labour leader, his wife Justine and their two children, the piece was billed as his most personal interview yet. Reading it, one realised only too quickly why Hello! and OK have never engaged in a bidding war for his favours.

Lest you missed it, Ed can unscramble a Rubik's Cube in 90 seconds, he'll be on spud-peeling duty on Christmas Day, he makes up stories for his children about two sheep who live on the Yorkshire moors, he regrets not being able to do more on the childcare front, and he likes A-Ha. Fascinating stuff, and I mean that most insincerely.

Why does anyone in any political party think this "getting to know you" strategy is a good idea? One can, at a push, understand how it comes about. We live in an age where informality is prized and staidness frowned upon, where affability often counts for more than ability. Ask Gordon Brown. Portraying yourself as just one of the boys, one of the dads, one of the husbands, is seen as a good, voter-friendly thing.

Before Ed bared his domestic soul, it was David Cameron's turn. Those pictures of the Cameron clan at breakfast were priceless. Or rather they weren't. As his advisers must have known, every detail was scrutinised, every symbol decoded. That wasn't just any spoon, it was a David Mellor number at £10.95 a pop. Terrific range cooker, would cost you a cool 4k for one of your own. Mixed with the dear stuff there was a good old M&S kettle, a naff mobile phone, and a Tesco carrier. (Every little helps when you are a millionaire married to a baronet's daughter.)

The theory is that we all like to be like each other and we seek connections through clues. So, the thinking goes, if you too have a Dualit toaster, you'll probably get on with Dave. Got two kids? So does Ed. Like a good cry when listening to music? Nick Clegg feels that pain too. As a way of communicating, it's about as sophisticated as flash cards, with voters treated like children.

Some might trace the rot back to Tony Blair and his early party political broadcasts as the new Labour leader. Standing around in his kitchen, wearing jeans and toting a mug with pictures of his family on it, he didn't look like the sort of chap who would sell you a dodgy war. For the Tories, it was John Major who, more than any of his predecessors, made the personal political. That touching moment when he was filming a PPB and the car just happened to draw up outside his old home in Brixton was enough to bring a tear to George Osborne's eye.

British politicians, in turn, took their lead from the Americans. From Nixon drawing attention to Pat's "respectable Republican cloth coat" and the marketing of Jackie K as a fashion plate, to Hillary's "stand by your man" interview for a disgraced Clinton, it has been open season on what should remain behind closed doors.

In Scotland we've largely been spared this peep show. No prominent Scots politician has gone as far as Ed, Dave, Nick and the rest. Alex Salmond in particular comes across as someone who would rather perform root canal surgery on himself than talk about his personal life. Indeed, Holyrood politicians have shunned the tactic to such an extent they now look like the odd ones out.

Mr Salmond's attitude might change when he finally gets round to asking if we'd like a divorce from the UK. It's a big deal, the sort of deal where you have to really trust the salesman. The SNP leader likely won't adopt Hello!-style ploys, if for no other reason than he knows that Scots like few things better than laughing at people with such a conceit of themselves that they think their choice of toaster matters.

It's plain why Mr Miliband is inviting the cameras into his lovely home. His party is just about staying ahead of the Tories in the polls but his personal ratings are tanking. The business with the brother was a tad too Shakespearean for most people's liking. As for his performances at Prime Minister's Questions, they send every toe within a 10-mile radius into a curl. "I feel I win as many as I don't," Ed told the newspaper. No, Ed, you don't.

Hence we have the chat about bedtime stories and the hiring of advisers such as Tim Livesey to be his new chief of staff. A diplomat for two decades, and previously an aide to the Archbishop of Canterbury, it is hoped Mr Livesey has the talents to one day position Ed as a credible Prime Minister in waiting. As someone who has spoken out before on the need for substance over style, one wonders what Livesey thought of the newspaper spread.

Mr Miliband is in a bind, and the resort to lifestyle journalism shows it (Mr Cameron has no such excuse). Polls show the voters have a flypaper-like memory about the last Labour Government and they are prepared to blame it, more than the Coalition, for the state of the nation's finances. (Fortunately for all three main UK parties, the man on the Clapham Routemaster blames those subsidy-junkie Europeans more). The Labour leader has to open up an English Channel between himself and the past. At the moment, there's not even an Olympic-sized swimming pool separating him from memories of Gordon and queues outside Northern Rock.

Labour MPs must be growing increasingly nervous about whether they can turn this tanker around before the next election. If this was the Tories there would be mutterings about electing a new leader. Fortunately for Ed, Labour is slightly more loyal. Otherwise party members might be looking in the direction of a candidate with the spirit of Mrs Thatcher and the soul of a Keynesian.

Still, even plumping for Yvette Cooper would have its problems. Unless she's got a dirty great bookcase in the sitting room, that husband of hers, Ed Balls, will be a devil to hide when it comes to the photoshoot.