But not any more, they won’t.
Forget Christmas Day in the workhouse, what about in the House of Commons? Has there ever been a Yuletide so drear for Members of Parliament, who will no longer be able to buy nice presents off their John Lewis list? They might even have to pay for their own Christmas cards. The indignity. Having to buy their own Christmas trees and deck the halls of their London homes at their own expense.
Time was when MPs could spend, spend, spend on everything from moat-dredging to organic dog food. It’s all there in the latest batch of expenses claims published by the House of Commons auditor, Sir Thomas Legg: seagrass carpeting, ride-on lawnmowers, robotic vacuum cleaners. Ann Cryer MP bought duck egg-coloured Majestic velvet carpet at £73 a square metre and a toilet brush at £18. The former defence secretary, Geoff Hoon, right, claimed for two televisions in two years. No wonder all the shops are holding pre-Christmas sales this year. MP penury is surely a major reason why Britain is slower out of recession than other European countries.
And spare a thought too for the homeless this Christmas. No, not those people sleeping on the streets, but the really deserving: the Members of Parliament who, through no fault of their own, face the loss of their second homes. You can scoff – most of us make do with only one abode. But “second homelessness” can be psychologically damaging for individuals who have grown used to multi-residential living. MPs are going to have to rent, or – shock horror – stay in hotels. They are likely to suffer a profound sense of deprivation and loss of self-esteem and will no doubt claim for psychotherapeutic counselling.
That nice little bolt-hole in the New Forest where they used to take their secretaries and researchers for team-bonding sessions. Gone forever. Those nice croft houses in the Hebrides or cottages in the northwest of Scotland, where the local peasants used to cheer their MP’s arrival from the porches of their homely caravans, celebrating as house prices rose ever higher.
But that isn’t all. There’s another group of dispossessed needing your sympathy this Christmas: all the wives, husbands, sons, daughters and other relatives who are to be thrown cruelly out of work by the penny-pinching Scrooges who now run British politics. Even in the Scottish Parliament, last bastion of honest nepotism, MSPs are to be barred from putting close relatives on the public pay roll. What a grim Christmas for them. Dig deep – they’ll need your help.
Think of that fine young chap, the flamboyant Henry Conway, a self-confessed “Queen Sloan” employed by his father, the Tory MP Derek Conway. Has anyone given a thought for his welfare this Christmas? He and his brother were paid £10,000 a year as parliamentary researchers while they studied in remote universities and organised parties in Chelsea with fun titles like: F*** Off I’m Rich. What will they do now? Derek Conway collected £260,000 of taxpayers’ money employing his family. Now the Conways might even have to work for a living.
The expenses row, broken by The Daily Telegraph after it received a CD stolen from the parliamentary fees office, has led to the greatest upheaval in parliamentary lifestyles since MPs started getting paid a proper salary in 1911. MPs had come to see their expenses as a salary top-up. After all, how could anyone be expected to get by on a pittance of £65,000 – a mere three times average wages. Barely enough to send a couple of sons to Eton.
Now that the party is over, we are told that MPs will desert in droves come the election, and that the new intake will be of low calibre because of the poverty pay. Able individuals will shun Parliament. There will be no towering intellects like Sir Anthony Steen, the Tory MP for Totnes who rounded on jealous voters after it was revealed that he had claimed £87,000 for his “little Balmoral”. The Commons will have to get by without those great parliamentarians Sir Nicholas and Ann Winterton, whose ingenious schemes for personal self-enrichment baffled Her Majesty’s Revenue. Gone also, Sir Peter Viggers who achieved international celebrity by claiming for a duck house.
And so now, in the bleak midwinter, as our few remaining MPs sit around their one-bar electric fires in some grim housing estate in south London, they will dream dreams of the good old days. And wake up to the reality of living within their means – just like the voters of Britain who put them there.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article